AIR CAV DAYS IN GERMANY: THE COLD WAR ADVENTURES OF REV

Chapter 32 JOLLY OLD ENGLAND...SORT OF

"First one in England," shouted Revv opening his door in Dover to put a Chuck Taylor on English soil. The Escort's three other doors opened almost as fast with three more feet planting themselves on English soil. The people in the car behind them started laughing, most likely having sussed out what these odd American boys were doing.

Navigating his way through the traffic jam after driving out of the ship Epsi followed the signs that read, "LONDON". They made their way through the countryside onto Motorway 2 or the M2 which was a large highway leading into the heart of London from the east. "What is a Motorway?" asked Sasquatch. "One big ass highway," answered Revv who was studying the map. Ten kilometers later Epsi was already taking an off ramp exiting the Motorway into a grassy rest stop where he pulled into a parking spot and asked, "Where the heck are we going?" Revv looked at the map again, "Yah know...I'm not quite sure." Looking to the back seat he asked, "Any ideas?" "Just drahve to the Rahver Thames in the middle. Evahrything is arauhnd there," answered Wahoo. Satisfied with their destination, they piled out of the Escort to use the restrooms. "These are a lot better than the French ones," Revv nodded to indicate the restrooms. "Remahmbah on the way to Pahris Air Show? They jahst had that three sided wooden stall without a rahr wall and we hahd to piss in that trough." "I remember how pissed off the women on the bus were that they didn't have any privacy," laughed Revv remembering the defensive ring of American Women holding up their jackets in a circle in a feeble attempt for privacy at the open air French rest stop.

Revv spread the map out on the hood of the Escort and traced their route into London with his finger. "I'm tired," said Epsi turning to Revv, "do you mind driving for awhile?" "Roger that, you just need to navigate." "No problem," answered Epsi smoking a cigarette while Revv showed him the planned route to the River Thames. Revv reentered the Motorway only to find himself fighting the morning rush hour traffic. The overloaded Escort moaned as he accelerated to keep up with the flow of traffic. The little four banger was no match for the speed of most of the cars driving into London. "What the hell is that?" asked Sasquatch pointing a driver next to them holding his two fingers up in a reverse peace sign. "That's a British flip off. I remember that from watching the Young Ones on MTV." "Watch this!" said Wahoo. "Oh shit, this can't be good," said Revv.

Wahoo forced some drool out of the corner of his mouth, put a simpleton look on his face, and plastered his cheek against the window. He then started crazily waving at the passing cars. A couple of other drivers gave them that strange flip off. Revv was laughing so hard that he decided to move over to the far left slow lane. "You suhck! Yah coulduv beaht thahm." "Get your ass up here and drive if you can do it better," answered Revv getting uptight. "Oh that's right. Your lazy ass hasn't bothered to get a European driver's license." "Thars a rheason for that. I nevah have to drahv whahn we go out drinkihng." "One of these days Wahoo," muttered Revv really knowing how smart Wahoo was not to have a license.

Finding London was the easy part; the city was so huge that it was impossible to miss. They exited the Motorway and entered the maze of city streets that were originally laid out at a time when people walked or rode horses. Driving on the left side of the road for the first time in a major European city was proving to be the challenging part for Revv. "Watch where you're going!" Epsi yelled. Revv swerved back into his lane before coming to a stop at an intersection. One of those infamous large black antique looking London Cabs pulled alongside of them. The driver, wearing one of those flat hats with the small brims that American golfers normally wore, leaned out and asked Revv, "You OK mate?" "Yah, why?" "Blimey, you're all over the road. Like you've been on the drink at eight in the morning." Revv flushed red, embarrassed and then confessed, "I guess I was trying to sightsee while driving...and...and this whole driving on the left side of the road is confusing me." "You had better park that tin can until you figure out how to drive. Now get a move on lad," the cab driver said with a jerk of his thumb backward to alert Revv to the cars waiting behind him.