BRUCE

On a Friday morning Dalitso took a minibus from Zomba* to Lilongwe*. He was listening to Armstrong's "Ndamusowa*" while going home for the holidays just like everyone else. Two hours later he arrived home and his mom was waiting for him.

"Oooh Dalitso!" His mom welcomed him, smiling happily while reaching out to hug him. She had been waiting for him on the veranda while peeling nkhwani* for their lunch.

"Mom!" He ran to her for a hug. He fell into her arms for a warm embrace and cried silently, somehow being able to mutter, "I'm depressed, and I'm worried I'm going to hurt myself."He said all this to himself while making sure she doesn't hear anything. His mom was always worried about him. And he loved her.

The next day he saw a doctor without telling his mom, and the doctor diagnosed him with severe depression and anxiety disorder.

"I saw this coming."  He muttered to himself while the doctor gave him the bad news.

According to the doctor "depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest...It affects how you feel, think, and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems."

He realized he had been depressed for about two years, but he failed to recognize it. As for the anxiety, Dali had constant worry and fear,of doing something wrong.He was constantly worried about his college studies. You see, when he was in secondary school,he was very good at almost every subject and he was happy. But when he started college everything changed.He was performing badly in most of his classes. His life started falling apart and he started having episodes of depression.

During that time Dali took antidepressants for about a year. He knew that the journey was going to be difficult but he decided to focus solely on his mental health — his top priority was to figure out how to be himself again.

On the day he arrived home, Dali spent the whole day in bed and the night that followed he was hurting, and then something strange happened. He was sleeping on his bed about 7:30 am on a Saturday morning when something soft brushed his head. In a strange way it kinda did ease the pain he was feeling on the right side of his head. He woke up and next to him was Bruce.

Bruce was his neighbor's dog. He did not own this dog and yet Bruce loved him more than he loved his owners.They shared a special bond. It might sound crazy but this was it. It was Bruce and Dali against the world.And hey, they had rules.First rule; Dali had to take him for a walk every morning and evening in the park. Second rule; He could never cheat on him. Whenever he's out,that means no matter what,Dali is not supposed to touch or pet any other dog. Bruce always knew when he did, and he often got mad and would not come over to Dali's house if he figured out that Dali had broken the rules. So Dali took these two rules seriously.

On many occasions he wanted to stay indoors, lie on the couch, and do nothing. But despite his mood on those days, He still walked with Bruce. He genuinely enjoyed going outdoors with him and being surrounded by nature. What he wasn't expecting during their outdoor excursions though was learning how to handle his anxiety because it was challenging.But whenever Bruce wanted them to go for a walk, Dali would go.He really didn't wanna break the rules.

But still,the depression left him feeling heavy and hollow, all at the same time. It twisted his mind into something powerfully dark, feeding him lies and belittling him. The anxiety was really paralyzing because there were bad days — the days where he cried at his reflection in the mirror, tried to dodge his suicidal thoughts, or believed all hope was gone. He would run to a closet and scream at the top of his lungs. Once his voice couldn't fill the space around him any longer, Dali cried incessantly. It didn't take long for Bruce to join him.He would lie down at his side, and lick the tears from his face. The first time Bruce did that, Dali smiled and even let out a laugh. It was the cutest thing he had ever done. Whenever Bruce licked his tears, he'd tell him thank you. Dali often wondered how he would've handled the first few months of his diagnosis without Bruce because he was so weak, and often felt like he was slowly rotting away — but Bruce's strong love lifted him up.

On their daily walks, Bruce never failed to catch someone's eye. One day it was a young,beautiful girl. As she walked towards them, his anxiety skyrocketed.Dali had avoided people for weeks because he felt like a failure, but there was no way he could possibly avoid her.He began to think of everything that could possibly go wrong: Bruce going crazy (because he often does when he meets someone new), or having a panic attack in front of her. But none of that happened.The girl walked in their opposite direction and upon seeing her, Bruce wagged his tail. She noticed him. She then bent over and Bruce run to her while on the leash.

"Beautiful dog." She said while petting Bruce and smiling at them.

"Yeah thanks." Dali responded in a not so confident voice.

"Have we met somewhere before?" she asked.

"I dunno, maybe.I'm Dalitso. Whats yours?"

"Linda."

"Alright Linda, wanna walk with me with this bad boy?" Dali asked her because he noticed Bruce was getting jealous and started whining.

"Sure."

So when Bruce and Dali got home later that day, he couldn't stop smiling. For the first time, he kept his anxiety at bay and secured his first date with Linda.

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Lilongwe* Capital city of Malawi

Zomba* Old capital city of Malawi

Nkhwani* Name of local vegetable

Ndamusowa* Translates to "I miss her"