Matches | √

Chapter Thirty-Two

"So you just ended things?" she asks next as if trying to see the complete picture. But she can't until I shed the light on knowing her dirty little secret.

"I had to end it mom," I tell her, exposing the harsh reality. "I ruined my friendship with Fran because of him. I let him turn me into someone I could barely stand to see in the mirror. I wasn't actually happy, I was lost," I say letting my words break at the end as heat flares in my throat.

I was lost in the beautiful flame of Asher. He made it look so enticing and perfect, but it was damaging and painful. I stupidly thought I would be the exception to the rules. That he would change for me because what we had was so intense.

But I wasn't an exception. I was a casualty, and I know there will be more after me.

My mother sniffles as if she's trying to keep tears at bay. "Mae," she chokes out my name.

"Mom, are you okay?" I ask instantly as worry strikes me and sizzles throughout my veins.

Tears shine in her eyes as she turns to look at me for a moment before she's forced to look back to the long stretch of road before us. "You amaze me," she says with astonishment clear in her voice. "You're stronger than I ever could be," she adds before lifting a hand to wipe at a stray tear.

"Mom—" I start but she cuts me off.

"I'm sorry," she tells me with a shake of her head as if she's embarrassed by her emotions. "It's just...I...it's hard—"

"I know," I blurt out now being the one to cut her off. I can't help myself.

She lets out a dry chuckle, as I can't begin to comprehend her words. "No, you don't understand," she trails with a deep sigh. A part of me wants to back off, and not say anything more because I can see she truly believes I have no idea what's going on in her life.

But I'm tired. Tired of all the lies, and of tiptoeing around the subject with her and pretending I don't see her take her secret phone calls or disappear for long periods of time.

So I take the leap and jump without another thought. "Yes, I do," I tell her, refusing to drop my steadied gaze. "I know," I emphasize to show her how serious I am.

She pauses, and the car even slows some as she sits next to me in absolute shock. Her eyes stay trained on the black pavement before us as if she can't bring herself to look at me. "How?" The one worded question is barely audible as if she's afraid to ask as well as hear my answer.

As if this is the moment she most dreaded in life.

But I don't back down. The walls are down and we are burned and exposed. I have to tell her everything. "I saw you," I confess.

Her breath catches in her throat. "Where?"

I drop my head as my eyes land on my hands. They are trembling faintly as a bolt of fear hits my chest. What if we can't recover from this? But I know even with the fear jolting me it's needed. It scares me because it won't be easy. Our entire relationship is going to change after this conversation, and I just have to come to terms with that. I have to believe we will have the strength to move past this.

"I stayed the night at Asher's and heard a noise and when I opened the door I saw you kiss his father before sneaking out." The words come out stilted and uncomfortable as I admit the truth.

My head rises to see one of her hands fly to her lips at my confession. "Oh god Mae," she breathes with tears now openly streaming down her cheeks. "I have no words. I'm so sorry you saw that," she tells me with pain filling her face and shame evident in her tone.