In Too Deep

Chapter 33

"Where do you want to start Shan? Ask me a question – any question and I'll answer truthfully. After tonight it's the least you deserve," I mumbled, fisting the sheets as a way of calming my nerves.

I reached back for my glass. "Happy birthday before we go any further." I reached over and we clinked glasses, bringing a smile to his soft lips.

"It's been a birthday to remember, that's for sure," he began, taking a sip of wine and waiting. "So tell me what happened. Start with the restaurant. You and Jared disappeared for five minutes as we were leaving. Is that when all this blew up?"

I nodded slowly, telling him about Jared's increasing dominance that evening, something I'd only become aware of with benefit of hindsight. I explained how he'd ordered me the water, banned me from drinking alcohol and how he'd pointed out that he was my boss for the night.

Shannon took another sip of wine, coaxing more of the details from me, listening, soothing and hugging me when it all became too much.

He topped up my glass before continuing. "What happened downstairs at the party that made him so mad?"

I closed my eyes, thinking back to Jared's den and sitting on the sofa curled up with Jess, sipping on the gin and tonic she'd offered me.

"I disobeyed him Shan," I said quietly, looking away, lost in my thoughts. "He found me with Jess. We were talking and drinking and he lost it. He made me go upstairs with him ...." My voice trailed off as I remembered what happened next.

"And ..... Lexy. I need to know."

I took a deep breath and thought back to Jared's bedroom; his anger, his animal sexuality and his complete dominance over me.

That's when the tears started. The floodgates opened and I felt Shannon gently remove the glass from my hand and pull me in close to his chest. My whole body was shaking and I could feel the tears coating his skin as he stroked my back, hugging me tightly.

After what seemed like an age, he reached to the floor and grabbed his old T, using it to wipe my face. He smiled as he prised my cheek from his body and wiped his chest as well.

"Lexy, I know this is difficult, but I need to ask you." He gently cupped my chin and kissed me, running his tongue across my lips.

"I know my brother better than anyone. And ...." he paused, looking at me and swallowing hard. "I know how he feels about you Lexy. I also know how he feels when he sees you with me. We talk ... and .... Lexy... I have to ask you ... did you try to stop him at any point?"

He looked away. I could see that asking this question was killing him inside. And it was my answer, the truth bubbling under the surface, that had caused me to sob uncontrollably.

"No," I whispered. "No I didn't try to stop him Shan. He asked me if I trusted him and I remember nodding. I was too scared to talk."

"So what happened to push you over the edge darling?" He tangled his fingers in my hair and I took comfort in the rise and fall of his chest as I struggled to articulate my thoughts.

"We didn't use a condom," I shrugged, shaking my head at my stupidity It sounded pathetic as I spoke the words.

"But we did sort out birth control didn't we Lexy?" Shannon asked. I nodded, rubbing my cheek against his chest. "So what else is there?"

I closed my eyes before speaking. "I couldn't stop my body reacting to him Shan. I didn't stop him. He was rough but I never said no at any point. I just feel that I didn't deserve being abandoned like that.

"But ... I never said no to him ...."

"How are you feeling now?" He moistened his lips, brushing a strand of hair from my face.