Romantic Short Stories

stressed

Even though it's Friday, I still feel like this day is probably the worst I've had in a while. Maybe today wasn't the worst, but rather this whole week has been a shitstorm brewing and today is the day that it all erupts. When I look back, I can see the self-destructive things that led up to this day being so immensely horrible. Maybe if I would've gotten my work done instead of watched Jenna Marbles videos all week, I wouldn't feel this weight on my shoulders. It isn't even a boulder at this point, it's a whole ass mountain.

For starters, the semester ends in a week and I still have a unit and a half of my online class to do. I had like three months to do it, but here I am doing all of it at the last possible second like an idiot. My grades in Calculus, Physics, and Psychology are slipping. No matter how hard I try, I still can't understand some of the shit we learn. It seems like everyone else's lives are going great and they're staying afloat, but I'm sinking and I don't know how to come back up because I feel like I've buried myself into a hole. I leave all my work for the weekend, but when it comes to the weekend, I don't want to do it. I feel guilty for doing anything relaxing because I feel like I should be working on something, but sometimes I just can't find the motivation to do it.

I was nearly in tears the last period of the day. All the stress caught up with me and just thinking of the situation I put myself into made me want to crawl in bed and fall asleep forever. As my friends around me were laughing and joking about the plans they had this weekend, I just sat and stared at a wall because I didn't want to exist anymore.

"You ok?" my friend, Jade, asked me after she noticed that I didn't chime into the conversation.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired," I responded, snapping out of my fog.

"Me too," my other friend, Katie, said to me from across the table. "I'm going to get so baked tonight."

"I wish I could," our other friend, Maria, said from across Jade. "I have a stupid family dinner to go to. It's not like we see each other everyday anyways. I don't know why we have to have a formal dinner."

"Oh, I want to join," Jade said to Katie. "Do you think I could come over? I have to get some stuff done when I get home, but I would be able to come over afterwards."

"Yeah, that would be awesome!" Katie responded, excitement twinkling in her eyes. "I have to clean my room up a little bit, but you can come over when I'm done. It'll take me like twenty minutes."

"I'll be over! Just text me when you're ready."

They kept talking, but I tuned them out. I looked at whoever was speaking so they didn't question me, because I think that if I started explaining what was on my mind, I would spiral and start bawling in front of all these people in my study hall.

All I was thinking about was going home, binging a carton of ice cream, and falling asleep for twelve hours. I probably should do something a little less self-destructive, but I'm just so tired that I don't have the energy to eat some fruit, exercise, and all that bullshit. I just feel like a failure so what's one more thing that's bad for me.

The bell finally rung and I gathered up my things as fast as I could. I didn't even say goodbye to my friends as they were talking about how high they were going to get. All I was focused on was getting out this school and to my car before my eyes startled sprinkling tears like a waterfall. I didn't want to make jokes and laugh about stupid shit when I felt like my life was crumbling in the palm of my hand.

As I was walking to my tutorial class to sign out, I passed Rowan, the guy I had the biggest crush on. He was tall, fit, a brunette, and had the deepest shade of green eyes that you could get lost in. It was like looking into a beautiful, tropical forest. He was so incredibly kind, handsome, smart, and entirely out of my league. I was this short, overweight girl who can't even hold a conversation without making a fool out of herself. We had a couple classes together and of course he talks to some of my friends. He talks to my girl friends that can get any guy they want, including him, because they're so gorgeous. I'm sure he doesn't even take a second glance at me. My friend, Hannah, who he talks to has a bigger chance than I will ever have in my entire life. I can't even muster up the courage to look him in eyes.