And If... {completed and edited 2024}

And If... You keep your head up ?

It took me about twenty minutes to clean myself and change my clothes before being back at my original spot, at RJ's bedside.

"I'm coming back." She assured me before disappearing out of the room. A few minutes later, she was back with a tray in her hands.

"You didn't have to do that, I'm not hungry." I told her before yawning loudly. I didn't know exactly when was the last time I got proper sleep.

"Please, don't make me fight you. Eat this." When she sat the tray on the table across the room, my phone suddenly started ringing. Not in the mood, I pulled it out only to ignore the call and turn it off. A lot of people were trying to get in contact with me, but now wasn't the best time for this. Except auntie Suz, I wanted to see and talk to nobody else. But now, she was slowly starting to annoy me.

"I told a bit of this and that to Lance and Chad since they wouldn't stop calling me. I hope it's not a problem, since they're your best friends and all..." She trailed off, waiting for a reaction.

I shook my head, fanning her off. "No, it's okay. Thank you."

She nodded, "you're welcome. And I told them to not come since you don't want RJ to be disturbed."

I tiredly rubbed my eyes, "thanks. Can you go now, please ? " It was nothing against her, but I needed to be alone right now. A silence began reigning in the room as she stared attentively at me, "what ? "

She cleared her throat, shoving her hands in her back pockets. "Did she show up ? " By she, she meant Tinashe. Her little question instantly got me upset, making me want to punch the wall.

After what happened with her dad, or whatever he became to her, we went to get the cupcakes, then came back here to give it to the doctor and next thing you know, she was out the door. No explanation, nothing, she just left. Since then, I didn't hear from her. Not like I really wanted to because I was very much mad at her. How could she leave like this ?

I understood that a lot was happening for her, but in my book it wasn't an excuse for her to be missing, mainly not right now, when RJ needed both of his parents the most.

"Maybe, you should go check--"

"No." I harshly cut her, "I am NOT gonna ABANDON him here TOO."

Her face softened, "Richard...I'm worried about her. I tried to get in con--"

"Can you just go ? I don't care ! Why would I care about her when she's nowhere to be found right now ? She should be here with OUR son ! " I didn't want to raise my voice at her, but I couldn't really control myself. I've been on edge for days with everything that was happening, I couldn't catch a damn break.

She signed loudly, "Richie baby, I know you're hurt right now, but it doesn't give you the right to talk to me with this kind of tone ! I had enough of you lashing out on people ! Now, get your ass off this chair and go check on the mother of your child ! For all we know, she might be hurting herself right now and I don't know where in your mind it did seem like an advantage for RJ ! Go see her ! I'm going to stay here with RJ. I'll call you if anything happens."

I groaned and did as I was told, even though I really didn't want to.

***

I slammed the door after I got out my car, and made my way to her front door, cussing any and everything around me. I was pissed off. Not wanting to play any type of games with Ms. Drama Queen today, I pulled out my spare keys to unlock the door, then stormed inside like a tornado.

I stopped in my track, trying to detect a noise and I did. I then followed the sound, which led me to the kitchen where Tinashe was washing dishes and it smelt like food too, indicating me that she also cooked.