Respite

Little White Lies

I'm pissed. Like, majorly pissed. I don't even speak to Demi's daughter and when me and Demi speak, it's distant and usually ends up in an argument.

"Don't make this harder on yourself."

I looked at Demi and she threw the last of my suitcases in the trunk of her car. 

"I don't want to go."

Demi laughed and shut the trunk.

"I thought you'd say that. It's either my house or rehab. I don't even know if you can go to rehab at sixteen."

I reluctantly sat in the backseat of Demi's car, next to Faith. Dianna and Eddie waved me off from the front porch of the house. 

"What about school?"

Demi rolled out of our parents' driveway and looked back at me.

"You got suspended, remember? They don't want you back."

"They don't?"

"No, mom got a call last night. She was going to tell you but you weren't in your bed, if you can recall."

My life is pretty much ruined already and it's barely even started.

"That shut you up, didn't it?"

I dropped my gaze onto my lap.

"You ruined your life, Cesca. Well and truly. Nice job."

I blinked my eyes repeatedly to stop the tears that threatened to fall. I don't cry but this time I really wanted to. I've really gone and done it now, I might as well continue my destructive journey. There's no way out.

"What now?"

Demi shrugged in her seat.

"I really don't know, Cesca. Mom and dad believe I can help you. I was in your position once."

"You were ill, though. I'm not."

"You have depression, Cesca. This could be one of your ways of coping."

I forgot to tell you, when I said I had mental health issues it was about my depression. I guess it's more of an underlying problem, my rebelling and stuff. A coping mechanism. I haven't taken my medication for at least a month now, I'm surprised I'm still somewhat sane. Maybe I'm not.

"I'm fine, Demi."

"That's what I said and you know what happened after that. Anyway, we're here. This is your new home for a while."

I heaved a defeated sigh and got out of the car. Demi placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder whilst I was pulling suitcase after suitcase out of the car's trunk.

"We'll talk about it after you've unpacked."

I nodded and watched her and Faith wander towards the house, taking the stuff I couldn't carry with them.

I shut the trunk and trailed behind with two suitcases and a few holdalls. Demi shut the door after me once I had all my belongings for my short stay (I hope) sitting in the hallway.

"You have your own bedroom, Cesca. It's next to Faith's, upstairs. First left."

I followed Demi's instructions and made several trips into my new bedroom, placing all my belongings up there.

"I'll go unpack."

Demi smiled and I wandered back upstairs to my new room. It's a nice room. On 3 walls are a pale gold colour and on the 4th wall is a gold petal effect wallpaper. There's a 4-poster bed and a dressing table on one side, then a walk-in wardrobe with a door leading off it to an ensuite on the other. Luxurious.

I unpacked most of my stuff, most of it going on the hangers in the walk-in wardrobe and the rest strewn across the floor of it. I spent a good 30 minutes making sure everything was unpacked and set up to look homely.

Demi knocked on my bedroom door and walked on in. 

"Hi, Cesca. We can talk now."

I swallowed the hard lump in my throat and sat on the edge of my new bed.

"Sure."

Demi came to sit beside me and sympathetically smiled.

"Cesca, can you tell me what happened last night?"

I stared into space and she clicked her fingers in front of me.

"Why?"

"Because then I can help you."

"I don't need help, Demi. It was just a party."

"But I know what you're like and mom and dad told me what you've done before. You spent the night at the house so something obviously went on."

"I just met a guy, that's all."

"Did you...?"

"Did I what?"

"You know what."

Do I tell her or not? This is hard.

I stared into space and Demi coughed into her fist.

"Tell me, Francesca."

The use of my full name made me realise how serious she was.

"Yeah, I d-d-did."

I stuttered my words, scared of her reaction. She took it well though and just awkwardly coughed.

"Protection?"

I nodded my head, although I didn't use any. She doesn't need to know, though, it won't happen again. I don't even have his number.

"Well, that's one less thing to worry about. You can't continue this, though. It causes accidents."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry..."

I trailed off and Demi placed an arm around me.

"Don't be. I was like you, you know? I got around it, though. I overcame it."

"There's nothing to overcome."

"Don't kid yourself, Frankie. There definitely is. So, what else happened? Drink? Drugs?"

"I drunk..."

"Drugs?"

I sheepishly nodded my head and Demi jokingly slapped my arm.

"You're a mini me, you know that?"

"Why aren't you mad?"

"What's the good in being mad? That won't get us anywhere."

Our conversation was cut short when we both noticed Faith hanging by the doorway.

"Hi."

I smiled at Faith but she didn't smile back.

"Faith, give us a second."

"But mommy..."

"Faith. Please."

"Mommy!"

"Faith! Please, go to your room. Just one second, baby girl."

"Mommy! Mommy, I don't want to."

Demi looked at me and got up off the bed.

"Cesca, we can talk later. Okay?"

I nodded and Demi took Faith's hand and led her to her bedroom.

Now Demi brought up protection, it did just about hit me that using none is really dangerous. Oh well, that won't happen to me, will it?