Could Have Been Better (Crush Series #2)

Chapter 29

"I really wanted to be honest with you, dad. Sa'yo ko lang ito sasabihin. Mom know about this but we don't talk about it that much. And you know mom, she's always into what's best for me. She thinks that this only hurts me and that I should just forget about it," I whispered the last words.

Nanahimik si daddy. Inangat ko ang aking ulo upang tingnan siya. I moved again so that I am facing him.

"You still remember... my friends in the Philippines," I asked him. I'm hesitant to say it because I can't even utter their names. Nakokonsensya ako at pakiramdam ko ay wala akong karapatang banggitin ang mga pangalan nila.

"Yeah... Enrico's children. Conrad and Celine," may hatid na lungkot sa kaniyang boses.

Pumikit ako sa pagkakarinig sa dalawang pangalan. Kinagat ko ang aking labi dahil gusto ko pang pigilan ang emosyon kong unti unti nang kumakawala. Hindi ko alam kung sinadya ba ni daddy ang lungkot sa kaniyang boses o dahil kahit siya ay nanghihinayang sa mga nangyari.

"Right, dad. I can't believe you still remember their names," I smiled weakly. Pinaglaruan ko ang mga daliri ko.

"Of course, I remember them. Nakakausap ko pa ang Tito Enrico mo at madalas niyang binabanggit ang kaniyang mga anak."

Suminghap ako sa nalaman. Alam kong nag-uusap pa sila ni Tito Enrico tungkol sa negosyo pero hindi ko naisip na pinag-uusapan din nila ang kambal. I wonder if dad talks about me as well. I wonder if... they ask Tito Enrico about me."

Kumirot ang aking puso.

"I miss them so much. I didn't have a proper farewell to them. I always think about them. Iniisip ko palagi kung kumusta na ba sila. Kung masaya ba sila. Kung nalungkot ba sila sa biglaang pagkawala ko. I wanted to talk to them but I don't know how. I could always contact them through social media but I can't. Nahihiya ako sa mga ginawa ko sa kanila," I wasn't able to control myself and I cried.

I cried hard. Tears were continuously streaming down my cheeks.

Napansin ko ang pagkagulat kay daddy. Hindi niya alam ang gagawin. He just held me in his arms tightly like what he used to do whenever I cry back when I was just a child.

Malalakas na hikbi ang aking pinakawalan. Pinipigilan ko pang lakasan ito dahil ayokong marinig kami ni mommy. She will be worried. And that's the least thing I want her to feel. Eversince the problem between my parents happened, I promised to myself to be a good daughter. I will never give them any problem. I will always obey them. Hindi ako gagawa ng pagkakamaling magiging dahilan upang masira ang aming pamilya.

I was very cautious. I am careful of the way I act in front of them. And while doing that, I also made sure that nothing else will be a reason to break them.

Kaya kahit na ilang beses kong maisip ang nais kong mangyari ay hindi ko magawa. Hindi ko kayang ipaalam sa kanila.

"Tell me what I have to do, anak. You know I'll do anything for you. How can I help you?" daddy was also crying.

Nanginginig ang aking mga labi. I cannot believe myself. Hindi ko lubos akalaing hihilingin ko itong muli sa kaniya. It's been years since I last asked him about this. And it almost broke our family.

I don't want to be selfish again but he's asking me. I don't want to lie either.

"I wanna go home," I uttered the words carefully, thinking that I might regret it in the future. "Can we go home, dad?" Pero hindi ko mapigilan ang aking sarili. Umiyak ako nang umiyak habang pinapakiusapan siya. "I just wanna go home with you and mom. And thinking about it makes me feel so selfish!" I broke down.

Pinatahan ako ni daddy. Ilang minuto na ang lumipas ngunit hindi siya sumagot. Nag-aalala ako na baka nagkamali ako. Kaya kong bawiin ang mga sinabi ko. Babawiin ko. I want to go home but more than that I want my family to be always complete. I am living for that purpose and nothing can break it.