These Four Walls

Twenty-four

A whole month has passed by since my dads' death. Harry and I moved into their old apartment a week ago. We've driven to South Shields twice this month to see Liz and the boys.

My DNA matched the boys which meant that John Thirlwall was really my dad. I knew it in my heart but of course there was always that little bit of doubt. 

Its been a tough month, I'll be honest. I thought after meeting my real dad I would live the rest of my life content with having him in it.

I guess I shouldn't complain, I only knew him for a few months. Liz and the twins have it tougher. The boys are still so young, there were still so many things they could have learned from him.

Liz has been so strong this past month. She always has a smile on her face no matter what. I can only imagine what she's going through.

I thought I would have it together by now but there are still nights where I wake up crying and wanting the pain to end so badly.

Its one of those nights tonight. I can hear Harry's even breaths beside me and usually this would calm me down but tonight all I can think about is how much I miss my dad.

I get up and head for the kitchen, I grab a glass of water to calm my nerves. "Jade? Why are you up?" I hear my sister say.

Jesy's moved in with us, the place is huge so why not? "I can't sleep. I miss him Jes." I tell her.

She pats the spot beside her on the couch. "Sometimes I wish none of this ever happened. I wish I never met him so I wouldn't be in this much pain." I cry out loud.

She pulls me closer to her and I cry onto her lap. "Jade don't say that. Your life changed drastically because you met him. You have a lot to thank him for, you know that." she tells me.

I know she's right, but I can't shake the thought away. Then again, I would have never really discovered who I am if it wasn't for the all things that happened.

"I know my dad never treated you the same way and I apologize for him Jade." Jesy tell me.

I shake my head, "I've forgiven him already Jes, you don't have to say sorry for him. It wasn't your fault. We didn't know." I say to my sister.

"Maybe you need to go home and have a talk with mum and dad." she suggests, "It could be good for you. I know you're going through a lot right now but maybe seeing them and finally sorting things out will help." she suggests and I nod in agreement.

We both get up and she takes me back to my room. Harry's softly snoring and Jesy lets out a giggle.

"If he sees you like this it will break him. He doesn't know how else to help you. He cares for you a lot Jade." my sister whispers to me as she tucks me in beside him.

She kisses my forehead and leaves the room without another sound. I listen to Harry's soft snores and finally drift to sleep.

The sound of my phone ringing wakes me up. I turn over and Harry was gone, I knew he had an early class but I thought he would wake me before he left.

I pick up my phone, "Hello?" not bothering to look at who was calling. "Jade! You need to get your butt to campus now! Jesy and Leigh are about to get Niall expelled!" I hear Perrie's voice on the line.

"What? They're going through with the plan?" I say as I get up from my bed and start getting ready.

"Yes apparently! Also, guess what I heard?" she says as I hurry to get some fresh clothes on.

"What?" I urge her to continue as I try to brush my teeth quickly. "Zayn got expelled! A teacher caught him doing coke! Isn't that crazy?" she tells me and I can hear the smile from her voice.