Savin' Me

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"All I need  is you, come please, I'm callin', and oh, I scream for you. Hurry, I'm fallin' , I'm fallin' " ( Nickelback - Savin' me)

Alex P.O.V.

I needed Jack so bad. I mean, really really bad. I was so afraid that I would cut too deep by accident and the die because nobody was there to save me. Nobody could save me when the thoughts took over my mind. Nothing could stop them. My body looked already bad, the cuts became deeper and deeper the longer I was alone. If only Jack knew but I was too proud to accept that I couldn't take it any longer and call him.

My mind screamed for the lanky guy I knew for so long. It screamed for my beautiful Jay, the love of my life. I still didn't get why he chose me over all these beautiful girls. He chose me the fucked up, ugly, dumb, untalented guy who was also depressed, selfharmed, was slightly bulemic and couldn't go a day without slicing his flesh. And even if Jack was only into guys, there were so many better that me.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I could end it right here and now but that would show my friends how pathetic I was in reality. They knew the thing with the selfharming, but thought it got better after my regular sessions with Thomas and after I got together with Jack. It didn't, but did they really thought it would? Depression wasn't like a cold that would go away after a few days or when it was treated.

I starred at the phone. Should I call him or should I let him be? Maybe he was busy right now, he could be looking aftere his nephew. Or maybe he was sleeping, and he hates being woken up when he slept. Or maybe, though it broke my heart to just think about it, maybe he could betray me. I knew he wouldn't do that to me, but my mind kept saying things like this, just to make me wanting to end it, without even thinking about the people I would leave behind.

I thought of them, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be alive anymore. But what would you do when your mind keeps saying things like "you aren't worth their thoughts, just make it easier for each one of your friends, they hate you anyways. They just stuck around you because they don't want to be responsible for the death of you." And you know what? I believed them.

Nervously I dialed Jack's mobile and waited impatiently for him to answer.

Jack P.O.V.

I knew something was wrong as soon as I heard the ringtone I chose for Alex. He hated calling anyone because he couldn't see their emotions on their faces and that scared him. If he had to he would send a message, but he wouldn't call. Never ever.

But now he called me. For sure he had been debating whether to call or not for a few minutes.

"Hey, Lex, are you okay?", I asked worried. I just heard him cry and sob, so my fear of him doing something stupid became bigger and bigger. "What happened, Baby? Please, tell me, I wanna help you and I will, no matter what. I love you, you know, and I will ALWAYS stay your side.", I began to ramble. Still I just heard a sobbing Alex. "Lexy? I can just keep talking if you want to. Until you're ready to tell me what's the matter. Does that sound good to you?"

I waited a little while and then just started talking. About my nephew who slowly began to feel better. About an argument which I had with my sister because she couldn't stand hearing me talking about my Alex all the time. I just couldn't stop talking about him, he was the most perfect human being and I would never ever shut up. Now, because he would become more aware of his surroundings, this little toddler would hear me talk about my boyfriend and ask why he hadn't get to known this little ominous Alex who made his uncle this happy.

I rambled on and eventually I ran out of what to say. But I didn't know if Alex was better now or not, so I began to sing. My voice wasn't as beautiful as his and if I would have sung for All Time Low, we wouldn't have become as famous as we were now. Somehow he loved whenever I would sing, so I hoped it would help if I sang.

Eventually, after a few lines, he began to sing with me. His voice was shaky, but even this shaky voice send a shiver of relief over me. As soon as he sung I knew my rambling had helped him.

"Shall I fly back to you? You know, it would be no problem and May would understand it..." I knew he would say no, he wouldn't want to cause any circumstances. "Jack... Would you really do that for me? I mean, of course you would... But what about your sister? You hardly ever see her, so you should just spend with her... We can be together when you're back... I love you Jacky..."

I sighed. "You know, I can meet her any other time and then I'll take you with me, so you can get outta the house. I'll take the next flight back, and no protest, I fucking miss my beautiful boyfriend. I love you, Lexy."

"Thank you", he whispered and then he hung up.

As soon as I heard the beeping I began to pack all my things up. I promised to be with him soon and I wouldn't break my promise.

____________________________________________________________________________

I know it took a long time, but I was in England and omg, it was awesome! I was at the Warner Bros Studios, in London (twice! *~*) and next year I will go again (I convinced my parents, yay!) Sadly, I was too late for Alex :c Wish I had seen him, would have been so cool

Also, I did the Ice Bucket Challenge. If you wanna see it, here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSLZni-Lovs&list=UULlLie8TAxikK6kLIchni0g

This will be the last chapter with any typos because my laptop functions again and I can write on it and not on my tablet.

So, I think that was it... See you next time, stay awesome!

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