it's been a few days since the boys told me about sean's death. i've gotten texts from two random numbers apologizing, i assume they belong to gray and e. i've gotten a call from a third and a voicemail but i haven't listened to it. i'm not answering anything. right now i'm in class thinking about everything. court has tried to call me and text me but i haven't answered her. suddenly i felt a buzz. i looked at my screen. imessage from court <3.
i'm gonna pick you up today whether you like it or not. i miss you and we need to catch up.
i replied with a simple 'okay'. i looked back up at the teacher, i knew what he was talking about. i read ahead on sunday because i was that bored but then again i love psychology so it was kind of relaxing and fun. it got my mind off of everything. the teacher decided to dismiss us early considering he had a meeting to go get ready for. as i pack my stuff and left my phone started blowing up. i looked and it was one of the two unknown numbers. saying to talk to them, to answer, they're sorry. i ignored it. as i got in my at i drove, i drove past the skating park, past the coffee shop, past my house which had grays car in the front, and to the dolan house hold, 15 minutes from me.
sitting in the front i was trying to think of what to say, or do. lisa and i haven't talked since two weeks after the boys left. and don't get me wrong, i missed her. so much. she was my second mother. she knew everything about me, big and small. she knew. i breathed in hoping i wouldn't cry. when i calmed down i got out of the car and walked to the front door. i knocked our knock we had, a little joke from when the boys and i were little. and not even a minute later the door open to a crying lisa.
"i'm sorry i didn't come over anymore. i'm sorry i stopped all communication. i'm sorry i left. i'm sorry about everything. and i miss you." i said. i started crying as she pulled me into a hug.
"i miss you too." was all she said to make me cry more.
we got inside the house and went towards the kitchen since she was in the middle of cooking when i knocked.
"gray and ethan are at your house. they really are sorry."
"i know. i drove by my house and when i decided to come by to see you i saw grayson's car."
"talk to them. they miss you, they are sorry. anja you three were inseparable when you were younger up to..."
"up to when gray ended everything.. i know."
"just please talk t-"
"we're back mom! who's car is in the front?" ethan called out.
"anja's here!" she answered. "now is your chance. go talk to them." she said to me.
i turned around as both the boys walked into the kitchen. grayson with bloodshot eyes, he looked as if he was crying and ethan with sad eyes.
"hi." that's all i could say. really?
"you were here? w-we went to go see if you were okay. you wouldn't answer our calls, texts. mom even called you and left you a voicemail." grayson said. he looked so hurt, it broke me a little more than i already was. i hated seeing him hurt period.
"grayson, i just needed time." you said.
"i know. but you were hurting. i didn't tell you and that was shitty of me, i get it. ethan and i were worried."
"i get it" then i got a call. "it's courtney. i'll be right back. the boys just nodded.
"hello." i said as i walked to the living room.
"hey boo. where are you? you aren't home."
"i'm with lisa dolan... and now the guys too. what's up?"
"i was supposed to come force you out of your hiding hole!" she yelled laughing at her comment.
"i'll be there in a bit." i said as i hung up. i jumped when i turned around to see ethan standing in the door way. i did not expect that. "hey. ummmm i have to go. i forgot court was supposed to 'force me out of my hiding hole'." i said with a slight smile.
"go ahead. and now that you have my number we can make a plan to have that conversation we need to have." he said. i had completely forgotten about that.
"okay."
after hugging lisa bye and waving bye to gray and ethan i went on my way. as i drove home i started thinking about what ethan would want to talk to me about. it's something grayson can't be there for. so obviously he doesn't know. i pulled into the driveway which had courtney's car in the driveway. i got out and went inside and there she was, sitting on my couch.
"sup hoe. ready to go?" she asked.
"yep. where are we going?" i asked turning back around to lock the door before heading over to her car.
"the coffee shop."
"oh is it okay if i invite someone?"
"wow you know more people than i?" i just gave her a mocking laugh. "but sure."
i walked next door to james' house and knocked. soon enough a sleepy looking james was at the door. "hey boo!" was his introduction to seeing him. i love it.
"hey. wanna get coffee with courtney and i?"
"yes! omg let me change!"
"sweat is fine james. let's go!"
i grabbed his hand and started running toward the car. courtney had started it and we got in. on the way to the coffee shop we blasted music and sang along. happiness radiating through out the car. when we arrived we got out and went in to order and just relax. of course i got the coconut milk mocha macchiato. i know, a mouth full.
"jeez. how do you remember that?" james asked holding his pink drink.
"it's my favorite. of course i'd remember." i said giggling.
as the few hours we spent there went by we laughed, made jokes, and just had fun. courtney and james hit it off really well and i'm so happy about that. then i remembered what ethan had said. so i texted both of the unknown numbers asking for names and when i got my answers i put the contacts in.
hey e
hey
do you want to meet at the coffee shop tomorrow?
sure. around 6?
yeah. see ya then.
see ya. was the last of the conversation.
i'm so nervous for the meeting with ethan. i wonder if grayson is okay.
