Love & Loss

Chapter 17

I searched his face for any sign that he was lying.

When I couldn't find any, I calmed down a bit.

Right... I shouldn't have automatically assumed...

I drew in a long breath, trying to make sure my tone in my next sentence was even.

"What was it then?" I asked.

He hesitated for a moment.

He knew that I didn't like this.

"An elk."

I nodded slightly, sucking in one of my cheeks.

"Did you kill it?" I asked, almost not really wanting to know the answer.

Elks were large animals, but Nico's bloodthirst had to be pretty bad as well.

A line formed between his brows as he thought for a moment.

"I'm not sure," he began, "I didn't stay long enough to see if it recovered. Probably not?"

He sounded ashamed, which made me feel both upset and guilty.

Upset because I felt bad for the animal, but guilty because I knew that this was how things naturally were.

Vampires were predators and practically everything else on this planet was their prey.

Hunting was common. Forest creatures dying to vampires was common.

I knew Nico had no control over his bloodthirst and that he needs blood to survive, but this whole thing could have been avoided if he just fed from me from the start.

Back when his bloodthirst wasn't so bad.

Did I even have a right to be upset about this?

I didn't control him, nor did I want to, but... I wanted to be able to give him that part of me.

After everything he's given me.

"Khloe, if its any consolation, I never planned on feeding from any of these women." He explained.

My next words left my mouth before I could even process them.

"I guess I'm included in that too?" I retorted rather harshly.

My words surprised both of us.

Why did I say that? Why did I say that?!

I hadn't even realized how much this was bothering me until right now.

I knew I was unsettled by this, but I didn't think that I was actually mad about this.

I was mad that he kept refusing to take my blood.

How weird was that?

How weird was it that I was getting upset over something like this?

How weird was it that I wanted him to drink from me? For multiple reasons.

A lump formed in my throat as the seconds passed.

I didn't want us to fight especially not about this.

I slowly looked up, surprised to see the almost hurt expression on his face.

"That's different," He finally said, his voice calm.

I don't know why, but his words made me feel worse.

But I didn't want this to escalate.

His demeanor was calm but I wasn't sure if I could mirror his attitude and I didn't really want to try.