Bubblegum Bitch ── Diego Hargreeves

003. Paul Bunyan

     "The 24th," Vanya answered.

     "Of what?"

     "March."

     "Good."

     "So, are we gonna talk about what just happened?" Luther asked.  Five stayed quiet, making the other Hargreeves siblings worried.  "It's been 17 years," Luther stood up.

     Five scoffed.  "It's been a lot longer than that," he said before using his powers to get behind Luther and then using his powers again to get in front of Luther.

     "I haven't missed that," Luther mumbled.

     "Where'd you go?" Diego asked.

     "The future.  And it's shit, by the way," Five said without looking up.

     "Called it," Klaus chimed in.

     "I should've listened to the old man.  You know, jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a toss of the dice," he looked up.  "Nice dress."

     "Oh, well, danke!" Klaus said.  Nova pursed her lips at his language change.

     "Wait, how did you get back?" Vanya asked almost immediately.

     "In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time," Five explained quickly as the other siblings and Nova looked to each other in confusion.

     "That makes no sense," Diego said.

     "Well, it would if you were smarter," Five said, provoking Diego.  Nova and Luther both held their arms out to block him from getting his hands on Five.

     "How long were you there?" Luther asked.

     "Forty-five years.  Give or take."

     Hearing this, the boys sat back down, Diego sitting behind Nova so the small girl could be part of it.  "So what are you saying?  That you're 58?"

     "No, my consciousness is 58.  Apparently, my body is now 13 again."

     "Wait, how does that even work?" Vanya's question went unanswered as Five took a bite of his peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich and paced around the room.

     "Delores kept saying the equations were off.  Eh.  Bet she's laughing now."

     "Delores?" Vanya seemed to be the only one who was following.

     Five ignored her.  "Hmm.  Guess I missed the funeral."

     "How'd you know about that?"

     "What part of the future do you not understand?" Five said in a tough tone before softening it.  "Heart failure, huh?"

     "Yeah," Diego said softly, before Luther followed with a rough 'no', making the boys clash once again.

     "Hmm," Five clicked his tongue.  "Nice to see nothing's changed."

     "Uh, that's it? That's all you have to say?" Allison tried asking as Five headed out of the room.

     "What else is there to say?" he said before pausing and looking at Nova directly in the eyes.  For a thirteen-year-old boy, he sure was scary.  "Except, who are you?"

     "Oh, I'm uh, Bonnie," Nova said, earning a low chuckle from Diego.

     "This is Nova, she's helping me out this week," Diego answered, placing his hand on top of Nova's head, the girl smiling at the gesture like a puppy.  Five only rolled his eyes and walked away.