Been Here All Along

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   As I was exiting the room to go down the hall to the guest room, I heard Anthony say to our parents, "I need you guys to pretend to be stable parents. Just while she is here. She can't watch her parents struggle when she is going through enough shit of her own."

   "We don't—" my mom began when my dad cut her off.

   "We will." Wow, my dad not arguing that their marriage has problems that are as clear as day? That's a first.

   I sat on the twin bed in the guest room, staring at my phone silently pleading it to ring and for it to be Ian. I never know when he may call and I don't want to miss it if he does. He doesn't get a lot of opportunities to use the phone.

   "Hey, Josie," my dad said as he allowed himself into the room through my already opened door. "How've you been?"

   I just shrugged, still staring at my phone.

   "I mean since I'd last seen you." Anthony, Ian, and I came over for thanksgiving dinner, but it wasn't that enjoyable. I was not feeling very thankful that day. "How is school and everything?"

"It's good," I told him, not really getting into detail. It's the same as it's always been, and I haven't gone back yet since Ian left, but I don't think it'll play a factor in my studies. I'm usually pretty good at separating my emotional, personal life and my school life.

"How is Mr. Westchester?"

I bet they'd know if they came to visit Anthony and I every once and a while. The only time we ever see our parents is if we come all the way to Fort Lauderdale.

I sighed out loud at my own bitter thoughts. I'm channeling all of my anger and sadness regarding missing Ian into my parents who are just trying to help me.

"He's good, too," I said softly. "I'm sorry, dad."

His eyebrows furrowed and he took a seat next to me on my bed. "For what, honey?"

"For always being so cold toward you and mom." Especially right now, they don't deserve it.

"You don't need to apologize. Not only is it justified, but we also understand what you have been going through." I closed the space between my dad and I and hugged him tightly, like I was five years old again — blind to the whole world and all of the problems surrounding me.

~•~

One could probably assume that I was not excited for Christmas at all. I didn't even plan to wake up in all honesty. I asked my family to leave me be and I turned off my alarm clock. If I couldn't spend this Christmas with Ian in reality, at least I could see him in my dreams.

All I wanted to do was sleep for as long as I possibly could, but the persistent ringer to my phone ruined that at 6:04am. I rolled over, completely annoyed to have been woken up by a stupid phone call, ready to decline the call.

Just as I was about to silence the phone call coming from an unidentified number, I realized that it could be Ian. So I answered.

"Hello?" I said in my raspy morning voice. Please, let it be Ian.

"Good morning, Josie Elle, you sound tired."