The Game

3 - Breakdown

...How do I tell my little sister... that she'd never see me again, not ever?

I cleared my throat, choking out, "D-Daisy I need to t-tell you something,"

She drew back, but only slightly, pressing our foreheads together and smiling sadly, "Can you stop crying first?"

I sniffled, "Th-This is important."

"Not as important as you being okay," She hugged me again, "Please, you're gonna make me cry." She then whispered, "I got pulled out of math class, take as long as you need to cheer up."

I laughed lightly and returned the hug. Daisy never did like math, she had a lot of trouble with it actually. So usually I helped her understand her homework when she had trouble, which had been getting lesser the more I helped her. Still, the little devil sees me devastated, and uses it to get her out of math class longer? Jeez... I know she genuinely cares, but still...

...Even so, how do I tell her that I'm already dead? I can't, she'd be devastated, and I can't have that. She doesn't deserve to lose me... but she can't know that she lost me so early either, that'd only make everything worse.

I took long, deep breaths as Daisy rubbed my shoulders and back until I had finally calmed down. She drew back and wiped my cheeks of dried tears, asking, "You all better now?"

I nodded, "Th-Thanks sis."

She smiled, and booped my nose, "Don't do that again! Okay?"

"I-I'll try," I smiled.

I looked over to the two teachers that were in the room, and another person from Daisy's school, I assumed. I took a deep breath and stood up, but Daisy tugged at my hand, making me look down at her.

"What did you want to tell me before?"

I stared into her eyes for a moment, glancing over to the adults in the room, then back to my sister. I shook my head, "It can wait... you need to get back to class." I looked at the adults again, "Could I take her over there?"

They nodded, but before we left, they put Daisy in the hall and spoke to me briefly, asking if I wasn't actually considering suicide. I told them no, because one way or another, someone else was going to kill me anyway. I ignored their shocked faces walked out into the hall, smiled at my sister, and quickly walked us out of the building, the person from her school following us at a bit of a distance.

Once they were in the doors of their school, Daisy waved me goodbye, and I waved back, mouthing 'Love you' and she giggled. I sighed, and turned back towards my school.

I went back to my school, and checked the time on my watch - holy shit it was almost the end of lunch? Just last period left? Wow... I guess... time flies when you think your life is hopeless and that you're just going to die by the end of the next day.

I walked in the direction of my physics class - my stuff was still in there. Luckily, this was Mr. P's prep, and he was eating his lunch in there. I quietly went in there and grabbed my stuff, thanking him for tolerating me screaming at him earlier.

"Well when you walked in crying, I knew it wasn't your fault," He smiled at me, "I'm just glad you're alright now."

I bit my tongue, then promptly left the room. No doubt he figured I still wasn't fine, but he probably understood that he shouldn't follow me, which he didn't. I kept my head down as I walked through the halls to the cafeteria, a few people muttering and staring at me, but I quickly went past them. Nobody came up to talk to me, they just looked and wondered.

I stopped after entering the cafeteria because the bell rang for the end of lunch. Go figure. Before I turned around though, I spotted Dan through the crowd, standing from our usual spot. He looked worried, and I noticed that Mitchel wasn't there... Hmph, whatever. Fuck them both. I turned and walked away just as Dan and I made eye contact.

I speed-walked through the halls, figuring I could ask the English teacher if I could eat during class, since, you know, the emotional breakdown and panicking and all that, which I've managed to internally keep in check for Daisy's sake. I have to try for her, maybe she can persuade mom and dad not to completely disown me...

Anyways, I got to class and talked to the teacher quietly. She said she heard what happened and that it was alright if I wanted to just sit in the English office for the period. Dan happened to walk in at that very moment, I glanced at him, but we didn't say anything to each other. I accepted the offer to sit in the English office, but I said I'd come back in class when I was alright.

* * *

Funny, when I got back in class, Dan wasn't there... I guess I don't have to awkwardly sit beside him now, at least. But still, where is he? He was here before, wasn't he? And Mitchel, he's in this class too, but he didn't even show up, according to our teacher. Where are they? They can't be skipping, they don't skip classes, they just don't. ...Did they break down as I did before? ...No, their parents actually love them, they have every reason to be fine and happy... Whatever. Saves me getting more pissed off.

Class went by normally, a few people glancing at me more than they otherwise would. Though, they too were in my physics class, so they saw what happened... Anyways, when the bell rang for class to be over, my mind kinda blanked, and I just sat there, slowly packing up as everyone else left the room, having packed up five minutes before the bell, like usual. I couldn't help but have this sinking feeling that something was about to go wrong - and that something clearly was going to happen when I got home. I reminded myself that I should at least get Daisy home... then get yelled at and possibly thrown out of our home.

Hooray, my life is shit.

I was the last to leave class, my English teacher giving me a supportive kind of nod. It sounded like she was saying something along the lines of, if I ever need help that I could come see her, but I walked away too fast, so I didn't hear all of what she said.

Students were busy in the halls, talking to their friends, a few doing double takes when they glanced at me. I just kept my face neutral, stone-cold, you could say, as I pushed my way through the crowd of students, heading out the front doors. I wasted no time in walking over to my sister's school, her school ending in twenty minutes from now. I leaned on a tree and pulled out my phone as I waited for time to pass.

What was I supposed to do? Go home and get disowned, or bring Daisy close to home, tell her to go inside, then just... take off? That seems like a better option, I'd bring her within three houses, and say I need to go somewhere and I'll be gone for a long time. If I do that, I could properly tell her goodbye, and wouldn't have to endure anything more from my parents... but... Daisy probably wouldn't let me go so easily, especially with how she got pulled out of class to calm me down. She'll probably be reminded of that when she sees me in a few minutes. She'd remember how worried she was when she saw me like that... and if I told her I needed to go somewhere for a very long time, she'd never let go of my hand...

I glanced up after the bell rang, watching as students started to pile out of the public school. I spotted Daisy pretty easily, she was running over to me and tackle hugged me.

"Woah, hey Daisy, " I chuckled, "How was school?"

She stood back a bit and looked me in the eye, "It was okay. But are you okay?"

Yep, I was right. She's instantly worried about me. I can see why, though. She's never seen me cry really, nor has she ever gotten pulled out of class for anything to do with me. And I was ugly crying and practically hyperventilating. Of course she'd be worried for me.

I sighed, "I'll be okay sis..."

"You don't sound okay."

Ha... She's so smart, isn't she? No other eight-year-old I know, like her friends for example, would be this perceptive. They'd probably be talking about what they did in school as soon as I asked, they'd likely forget if they saw me crying on the floor earlier today unless I brought it up. Then again, what do I know?

I forced a smile, "I'm alright, don't you worry your cute little tail off."

She smiled slightly, took my hand, and we started walking home.

...Hopefully I don't have another breakdown.