Conscious Sedation

Monday Morning Moments

“Wow, that was dead mouthful.” He said and threw his head back to laugh. “Does that mean I’ll have to go with you too until the day you die?” He said but when I was about to explain, not buying his joke, he continued. “Don’t worry, I get it. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

I smiled mainly at how thoughtful his words are and partly because I was again unable to resist mimicking his beautiful one.

“Now go to sleep because from what you said, we seem to have another long day ahead of us.” He said, and kissed me on my left temple.

It wasn’t bolts of electricity. It wasn’t the raging butterflies. It wasn’t like the ones Harvey makes me feel. It was different in a good way. It was soft. It was sweet. It was a warm sensation that somehow had all my senses gone and all my nerves disconnect. It was like a release, a freedom that I am very much unfamiliar with.

After moments of staring at my fluffy bunny slippers internalizing what feeling his little kiss meant, I finally had a hypothesis. Love. Maybe, maybe not. Who am I to know? I haven’t even felt this before.

I shifted my gaze from my slippers to him. “Yeah, you’re right. You too.” I had the words carefully selected so he won’t think that I had in anyway thought of something more in that little kiss he gave me.

“Good Night Henry.” I said as I opened the door without even looking back at him.

“Technically it’s morning. So, good morning Carmen.” He said as I had nothing to do but smile and close the door.

The constant beeping of my alarm clock and the bright beaming morning light woke me from a slumber that seemed to have lasted for only an hour or two.

I opened my tired aching eyes and rubbed them deliberately as I hauled myself in a sitting position. My stitch gave a small throbbing pain, reminding me of everything that happened yesterday. Henry. I thought to myself as it lead me to remember the things that had happened the day before that and the day before that. Harvey.

I stood up and made my bed quickly noticing that it was already half passed eight in the morning. After taking a shower I put on a white printed tank top and a new pair of dark wash denim jeans. Slipping into a pair of comfortable skin tone pumps, I grabbed my black leather jacket and picked a bag that matched it.

“You look like a hot mess…” Henry commented as I was fishing my gold watch and my rings in a deep container beside the sink where I always take them off after a long day.

I turned to him pouting, not taking any offense for he only stated the truth. My shoulder length hair was wet and uncombed, hanging lifelessly behind my nape. I didn’t even have make up on because I’m feeling too lazy to do it.

He was lying on the sofa bed with his head hanging on the edge, looking at me across the living room. “A hot mess that I like.” He added which made me smile first thing in the morning. “But if you’re going to your psychiatrist looking like that. I bet she won’t even try to ask you stuff and just diagnose you with mental retardation by just looking at you.”

“Well if you at least try looking at me properly and not upside down like what you’re seeing now. I’d probably look less horrifying.” I joked, carrying in a tray; two glasses of milk, a plate of toasts and a strawberry jam.

“I’ve tried looking at you properly. But I don’t know, I couldn’t last for more than five seconds.” He joked, making a huge contrast with his serious face.

“Yeah right. Just go and eat your breakfast. I’ll put on some make up so I you could be free from the horror you’re facing right now.” I said, waving an open palm to my face.

He laughed and I still could hear him laughing as I closed my bedroom door.

I sat in front of my vanity mirror, scrutinizing every detail on my face. Unlike all the beauty gurus on youtube and all the other normal girls, the look I wanted to achieve today is the ‘Mentally Stable’ look. Mainly because I don’t want the Psychiatrist to think I’m having mental problems.

So after a few moments of picking colors I decided to go for a beige eye shadow, a coral blush and a pink lip gloss. I also curled my hair and added a small bouffant just above my side swept bangs.

“I’m ready c’mon.” I yelled at Henry wherever he is as I went out of my room.

“Ready for what?” A different male voice asked behind me. I turned to look and I was surprised to find Harvey standing in the doorway with a bouquet of white roses on one hand and a coffee carrier with two cups on the other.

“Oh hey. How did you get in?” I asked quite puzzled. He pointed his thumb on the wide open door behind him and I completely understood why. I might have forgotten to lock the door last night. “Oh they’re beautiful, thank you.” I said as he handed me the flowers.

“Is somebody here with you?” He asked as he placed the coffee cups in the counter.

“Nope.” I answered, not wanting him to know about Henry.

“You sure?” he asked with a blank expression as he looked at the two glasses of milk, the untouched toasts and the crumpled sheets of the sofa bed.

“Um, yeah I… I was hungry and I didn’t want to sleep alone in my room because just in case I see ghosts again I could easily run outside and ask for help.” I made up a reason. I don’t understand why I didn’t want him to know about Henry. He might get mad. He might not like me anymore when he knows I’m letting a random stranger inside my apartment for a sleep over.

It might not be obvious but Harvey Milton is one of the favorite faces and names in the university. He sings and plays bass on a local band named ‘Role Models’ and they perform in random bars and clubs here in New York and other neighboring cities. He’s also number one in the dean’s list and the doctors and the professors love him as much as his groupies does. I see him sometimes at school but I just ignore him, knowing that he’s way out of my league. But then just a couple of days ago I was blessed to be the one to take this beautiful creature’s virginity. Oh how can I be so lucky to have him? Now all that would be gone if he does not believe my alibi.

“Oh Carmy. You should’ve stayed at my place.” He said as he gave me a warm embrace that sent bolts of electricity to my insides once again.

“Harvey, you know I don’t want to be burden to you and besides, you’re already helping me out right now.” I said as I motioned to the coffee.

He smiled, and I noticed he had a dimple on his right cheek. How adorable! “First, you will never be a burden to me, ever. And second it’s my pleasure helping you around that I could this forever.” He opened the lid and handed me a cup of coffee. “Oh it’s not hot anymore. Is it okay if it’s not hot anymore? Do you want me to…”

“What are you talking about? I like my coffee this way. It’s perfect.” I said and tapped his shoulder.

He released a sigh of relief.

I poured the coffee into the glass of milk and shared the toast with Harvey. I wonder where Henry went. He didn’t even taste the toast that I made specifically for him.

“Wow these are really buttery toasts you got here.” Harvey commented.

I remember seeing Henry on Whole Foods before, buying quite a lot of whole wheat bread and non dairy butter so it’s either he’s health conscious or he’s vegan. That’s why I specifically made those toasts for him.

I watched Harvey eat the toasts that I made for Henry and it was just awkward.

As we left the apartment, I secretly slipped a note under the door for Henry when he comes back and I’m gone.

The key is under the cactus. And please water it too. Take care. C

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