I Was Amity...

23

"Since you're here," he says, without looking over his shoulder, "you might as well go in with me."

I have to admit I'm not surprised he heard me, I'm not as quiet as I think I'm. "Into your fear landscape?"

"Yes."

As I walk toward him, I ask, "I can do that?"

"The serum connects you to the program," he says, "but the program determines whose landscape you go through. And right now, it's set to put us through mine."

"I guess it's only fair since you get to see mine everyday," I joke.

Four chuckles lightly, a large grin plastered to his face. "There are some things I want to show you." What could he want to show me in his fear landscape? He holds up the syringe, and I tilt my head to better expose my neck. "Another tattoo," Four jokes, his hands lightly brushing against it.

"What can I say, I think I have an addiction," I joke.

I feel sharp pain when the needle goes in, but I'm used to it now. When he's done, he offers me the black box, in it is another syringe.

"Obviously, I've never done this before," I say as I take it out of the box.

"Right here," he says, touching a spot on his neck with his fingernail.

I stand on my tiptoes and push the needle in, without hesitation. He doesn't even flinch. He keeps his eyes on me the whole time, and when I'm done, puts both syringes in the box and sets it by the door.

"You knew I would follow you up here, didn't you?" I smirk at him.

"You're very predictable," Four teases.

He offers me his hand, and I slide mine into it. His fingers are cold and brittle. He opens the door with his free hand, and I follow him into the dark. I squeeze his hand a little. Four isn't surprised he knows my fear of the dark. I try to keep my breaths even and hold firmly to Four's hand.

"See if you can figure out why they call me Four," he says.

The door clicks shut behind us, taking all the light with it. I squeeze Four's hand even harder this time,

"Calm down. The sim hasn't even started yet," Four assures me. The air is cold in the hallway; I feel each particle enter my lungs. I inch closer to him so my arm is against his and my chin is near his shoulder. "What's your real name?" I ask.

"See if you can figure that out too."

I send him a little glare, even though he can't see me.

The simulation takes us. The ground I stand on is no longer made of cement. It creaks like metal. Light pours in from all angles, and the city unfolds around us, glass buildings and the arc of train tracks, and we are high above it. I haven't seen a blue sky in a long time, so when it spreads out above me, I feel the breath catch in my lungs and the effect is dizzying. It makes me miss home a little. Then the wind starts. It blows so hard I have to lean against Four to stay on my feet. He removes his hand from mine and wraps his arm around my shoulders instead. At first I think it's to protect me but no, he's having trouble breathing and he needs me to steady him. He forces breath in and out through an open mouth and his teeth are clenched. The height is beautiful to me, but if it's here, it is one of his worst nightmares. It's not a surprise considering the way he acted when we were on the ferris wheel.

"We have to jump off, right?" I shout over the wind. He nods. "On three, okay?" Another nod. I've never seen the mighty Four speechless before. "One...two...three!"

I pull him with me as I burst into a run. After we take the first step, the rest is easy. We both sprint off the edge of the building. We fall like two stones, fast, the air pushing back at us, the ground growing beneath us. Then the scene disappears, and I'm on my hands and knees on the floor, grinning. I loved that rush the day I chose Dauntless, and I love it now. Next to me, Four gasps and presses a hand to his chest. I get up and extend my arm out to help him to his feet.