Limited Desires | Roger Taylor

My heart couldn't contain itself

     As soon as she left I ran back inside to the phone. I ring Rogers number in a rush. I tap my foot in anticipation as the he answers the phone.
     "Hey baby."
     "Rog, Alice is on her way over. She thinks your cheating on her."
     The line went silent as I tell him my news. "What?!"
     "You heard me correctly. She says your not spending enough time with her and you haven't said I love you. I told her that you were just stressed from exams but you need to make up an excuse and fast."
     "Alright, shit I see her. I'll call you back when she leaves. Love you."
     "Love you too." I hang up the line and take a seat on the couch only find Brian standing in the doorway to his bedroom with a worried expression on his face.
     "Soph, What was that about?"
     I slightly jump at his sudden presence. I release my tighten chest and relax my shoulders.
     "You have me a bloody heart attack. It was nothing, just a phone call." I lie, looking down at the ground.
     "Your lying."
     I let out a shaky laugh. "What? I'm not lying. What makes you think that?" I ask nervously.
     "Your eyes dart to the ground to avoid eye contact." He claims slowly walking towards me.
     Gosh, he's become somewhat like me. Kinda annoying I must say. No wonder people hate it when I observe people.
     "Brian...I can't right now."
     "No! Sophie, you can't just keep things from me. You could be in danger for all I know! Why can't you just trust me?!" He shouts throwing his arms in the air.
     "Brian... I can't bear to tell you. It's not my part." I say looking up to him with a look of seriousness.
     He scoffs at my response. "Can't even trust your own brother...twin brother to be precise." He mutters under his breath and stomps off to his room.
     It broke my heart to lie to my brother. I told him everything and I mean everything. From emotional shit to my personal problems, he was always there to listen.
     I squint my eyes to hold back the incoming tears. Should I tell him? I can trust him it's just I'm not sure he'll understand or see me the same way.
     I shift in my seat at the decision. Should I? Should I not? The question bounced back and forth in my mind.
     "Sophie, what have you gotten yourself into?" I whisper to myself, while face palming my overthinking mind.
     Suddenly the phone rang, causing my thinking to come to a halt. I look up at the ringing phone and get up to answer it.
     "Hello?"
     "Hello Sophie." I hear Rogers voice on the other end say.
     I let out a soft sigh and pull a fake tone.
     "Hi, what'cha got?"
     "We're good now. Oh and while she was washing her hands she took my ring off and left it by the sink. So now you can wear it." He exclaims. I could almost hear his smile on the other end.
     "I don't think that's such a good idea, Roger. She'll notice if I wore it and what we don't need right now is the attention."
     "Uh, yeah your right sorry. Stupid of me to think that."
     "No no your fine. C..can I come over?" I plead, hoping he would say yes.
     "Ye..yeah sure. I'll see you in a bit love."
     "I love you."
     "I love you too."
     I hang up the line and approach Brian's closed door. I hold my knuckle up to knock but freeze in mid air at what he might say.
     "I...I'm going out. Be back in an hour."
     I hear no response so I decide to head out the door and grab a cab.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     I approach his door and knock rapidly for a response.
     I hear shuffling from within the walls as Roger appears through the doors.
     "Ye'know, I should really just give you a key. I mean your gonna be here a... oh" I pull him into a tight hug as tears stream down my eyes. "Hey hey, what's wrong?" He asks holding my face to face his.
     "I'm not sure if this can work like we want it to." I whisper, looking down to avoid his eye contact.
     "Wha..what d'you mean?"
     "I mean I can't keep lying to two very important people in my life just to keep ahold of one." I remark, looking into his piercing blue eyes. "I need to tell my brother. I know it'll ruin the relationship with the band and all but it's ruining the relationship between him and I. Roger I need to tell him and I'm sorry if..."
     "Shhhhhhh..."
     He pulls me into a comforting hug, making me pause my thought. My hands press up against his chest as his arms continue to hold my waist.
     "You can tell him. I...I think I'm going to end it with Alice. I think it's the best thing for my part, but I don't want to ruin yours."
     "I think it'll be okay." I reply into his chest as I listen to his steady heartbeat.
     He pulls back and looks at me. Concern written all over his face. "You sure?"
     I nod my head in response. It'll be rough since I'm not sure how she'll react to it but I'm willing to give it a go.
     "Thank you..." I whisper, kissing his sweet lips.
     "A'right now go off to your brother. Will I see you tonight?"
     "Depends. On how it goes with him and with Alice." I reply tucking a piece of blonde behind his ear.
     "Oh! We're doing this...today?" He asks surprisingly.
     "Yeah. It's good to get it over with than to hold it in any longer."
     "I guess. Oh before I forget." His eyes light up as he reaches in his back pocket for something. He pulls out a small silver ring and takes my right hand.
     He slips the band onto my middle finger. It fits perfectly. I look at it with admiration as he's takes my hands in his.
     "Now it's official." He says, gently rubbing his thrums against the silver band.
     "So it is. I'll see you tonight mister Taylor." I whisper, pulling away from his grasp towards the London streets. I turn back and flash him an assuring smile before I wave and pull a cab over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     I approach his bedroom door once again, but this time I knocked.
     "Brian..."
     I get no response so I slowly turn the doorknob and peek through the door crack. I see him  in front of the window, cross legged on the floor.
     "Brian..."
     I hear him sniff. "What is it?" He spats, not turning his head.
     "Can I tell you a secret?"
     And with that, he turns his head to face me from the window.
     "Ye...yeah. Sure, come sit." He insists patting down an open space on the floor next to him.
     I nod and walk over to where he was seated and plop down next to him. He turns to me, waiting for my "secret."
     "I've been..seeing someone lately." I start. He leans in closer in interest. "That person is...non other than..."
     Roger Taylor
     He stares at me with furrowed eyebrows. He rests his chin on his fingers as his eyes wander away from mine.
     "You've been seeing Alice's boyfriend..." he mutters, still not looking at me.
     "I know I'm a terrible friend and quite frankly even person at this point, but I couldn't contain myself. Neither of us could." I start to sob, wiping them away with the sleeve of my coat.
     "I know I disappointed you. Your always telling me to be good person and to treat people the way you want to be treated. And mum said that I should never betray the ones close to me, but...my heart it couldn't contain itself. I'm so sorry." I cry, planting my face into my palms. I continue to hear nothing from him as I quietly cry into my hands.
     I feel a hand wrap around my shoulder making me shudder. I look up to see Brian crying as well. He presses his lips together as the tears continued to stream down. He slightly opens his mouth to speak.
     "I understand. And I forgive you." He whispers. I pull him into a hug as we both stared out the window towards the beautiful city that we called home.