tear me to pieces, skin and bone

Chapter Two

The next morning, Anne was supposed to meet Henry for breakfast. Alas, she told her maid to send word that she was unwell and begged his forgiveness. The King sent his personal doctor to examine her but Anne refused to see him.

The King would be furious, but it was little more than what he deserved. To hell with her family's plan! To hell with Henry!

She sent her maids away and locked herself in her quarters the first day, eager for solitude to wallow in her despair and to eventually plan her next move.

She was an ambitious woman, she would not deny it. Once she had learned that there was a chance that Henry would make her his Queen, Anne craved it with every fiber of her being. She longed to be the most powerful woman in England, to sit by Henry's side and help him rule his country. She fantasized about her children being Kings and Queens amongst Europe and creating an everlasting dynasty.

But more than all of it, she wanted to be Henry's wife.

She was a fool. A complete and utter fool to have put all of her hopes in Henry. And an even bigger fool for falling in love with him.

Even if they were to admit defeat, what man would have her now? She knew what was whispered about her. How she was a whore and how the King had already had her. No respectable man would want her after believing she was little more than the King's castoff.

But it was untrue. She was a maid, and she intended to stay that way until her wedding night.

Her entire future depended on her rival, her enemy.

Long after her tears had dried, Anne wore a bitter smile at the irony of it all.

--

On the second day, Anne ventured from her bed. Her maids fussed about her asking for her health and if they should fetch a doctor, but Anne assured them that all was well. She felt their curious stares and she was sure to be the topic of gossip amongst the staff.

If any members of her household sold her secrets to her enemies, they were sure to be having a field day with her self imposed exile, her firm refusals to see the King and the fact that she has not eaten a meal in days.

Anne could not bear to leave her room once more, and so spent the third day reading. Growing tired of their imploring eyes, she dismissed her maids from her chambers, ordering two of them to stay outside should she need anything. It was well into the afternoon when there was a timid knock on her chamber door. Sighing in displeasure, Anne placed her book on the desk and softly called out, "Yes?"

Her maid, Jenny, peered around the door. "Pardon, Mistress, but there is a messenger from the King. He wishes for you to join him for dinner tonight."

Anne swallowed, her heart pounding desperately in her chest. She could not see him. She was not ready to look him in the eye and pretend that everything was alright, that she was happy for him to finally get his long awaited son.

In this moment she hated him for making her love him.

She could feel Jenny's curious gaze on her, so Anne pulled on a cool mask and carefully replied, "Tell the King that I am indisposed."

Jenny merely murmured, "Yes Mistress," and shut the door behind her.

Henry would be furious with her for denying him a second time.

Not an hour passed before Jenny knocked on the door again, this time announcing Nan. Tears pricked her eyes, and before Anne could grant her permission, Nan pushed passed Jenny with an irritated frown and slammed the door in her face. "The wench tried to deny me entry! Can you believe it - Anne, what is wrong?" she asked gently upon seeing Anne so under dressed.

"Nothing, I am fine," Anne replied carefully, trying to muster a smile but failing.

Nan was having none of it. She went to pour them both a goblet of wine and sat next to Anne taking in her pallid complexion and her unbound hair. It pained her to see her dearest friend so unhappy, though she was almost sure that the King was the reason behind her despair. Whilst Nan did not care for the Queen, she did not care for Anne's relationship with the King. Anne was bound to get hurt in her quest to become Henry's wife, and though she supported Anne wholeheartedly, Nan knew exactly what kind of man the King of England was. "What is the matter, Anne?" Nan repeated softly, placing the goblet in her hand.

Anne sighed, and her carefully constructed composure crumbled as she met Nan's worried eyes. She lifted her goblet and took a long drink, ignoring her trembling hand. Tears pricked her eyes as Anne said softly, "Catherine is carrying the King's child."

"Oh Anne," Nan breathed sadly. She took Anne's hand in hers and squeezed gently and it was all too much. The possibility of Henry discarding her, of losing him to Catherine and being ruined, the kindness in Nan's eyes - Anne began to cry.

"I cannot bear it," Anne cried softly, all too aware of the ears that could be listening outside of the door. "I cannot bear to see her flouncing around court knowing that she has won. But more than anything, I cannot bear to see Henry happy with her ."

Nan watched her friend with sad eyes and carefully said, "Perhaps the child will not survive. The Queen has had many miscarriages, it is far more likely given her age. There is still a chance you may become Queen."

"And if she delivers a healthy child? What then Nan?"

Nan had no reply.

Anne stood abruptly and drained her goblet in one smooth drink. Nan watched her, her eyes shining in concern as Anne poured herself another goblet of wine. She took another long drink and tilted her head back and laughed bitterly. "That Spanish cow will have me sent away the second her spawn has left her belly. Do you see the irony of it Nan? I wish to send her away, and yet tis I who shall never see Henry again!"

"Do not be foolish Anne," Nan chided gently. "The King loves you, he would never send you away from court."

Anne shook her head, a cruel smile twisting her lips. "The second Catherine delivers him a healthy son, she will ask him to send me away and Henry will grant her every wish." Her mouth trembled and Anne made no move to wipe away her tears. She looked beautiful and broken, and Nan's heart went out to her. She drank the rest of her wine and poured more with a trembling hand.

"Oh Anne," Nan sighed sadly. "The King would never send you away," she repeated.

Anne turned back to her friend, "I will be ruined, Nan. Everyone thinks that he has bedded me already. No decent man will want me. I will have nothing!"

Nan hushed her. "The King would find you a suitable husband if you asked him, I am sure of it."

Anne shook her head, that terrible smile still fixed firmly in place. "My family want me to become his whore. If I can't be Queen of England, then I can become Queen of his bed," Anne cried, laughing bitterly. The room began to spin slightly as Anne spun around in a circle, her bitter laugh loud for half of the court to hear.

"Anne, stop this," Nan said softly. "Not everything is lost yet-"

"Yes it is!" Anne snapped impatiently.

Nan stood, her impatience finally shining through. "You are acting like a child. You still have options if this comes to pass. You can still marry, Anne, you can still have a family," she added softly.

But Anne shook her head hopelessly. "It is not just that. I love him Nan. I do not want any husband, I want him . I am such a fool! They warned me to not let him into my heart. And yet I did! I am such a damn fool!" Anne whirled around and threw the empty goblet with a cry, and the sound of the shattering glass of her mirror echoed throughout her chamber.

Nan watched in shocked silence, her breath leaving her in a rush as Anne brokenly whispered, "I love him."

--

On the third day, Anne woke to complete and utter silence. Normally she would hear the whispers of footsteps and the hushed voices of her maids, but there was nothing. "Jenny?" Anne called out, but silence was her only answer. With an annoyed sigh, Anne got out of bed and threw open her chamber doors-

Only to see Henry standing in the middle of her quarters, his expression twisted in quiet fury.

"Why have you been ignoring me?"