The Suicide Diaries

The Hanged Man Replica

The Hanged Man Replica

Blunt. I will not fabricate these words. You will be touched. Raw and heliotrope flesh wounds. They remain underneath our desecrated skin. His hands. His virile hands. I canʼt shake these recollections. I am imprisoned in this intricate mind pain. Screaming. Tearing. Shredding.

Threatened. He is my fear. Wounded by the icy reality.

Father rapes mother. Mother has daughter. Father hates daughter. Father touches daughter in the violent, burning darkness of night. Father rapes daughter. Daughter has brother while becoming his mother..

Resulting in a black razor blade pain. These past occurrences will steer you down a path of self destruction. A path filled with shadows. Deep, dark shadows that visually are the blackest black you will ever see.

Sometimes the fire light will find itʼs way onto the path. Teasing you before it disappears and leaves you. Alone and cold. You will always end up alone and cold. Suffer. You will be consumed and you will suffer. People will find you eventually. Not the bad kind. The kind that have love and compassion emanating from their soul. They will try. They will be there with you. But, while you are with them, you will still be on the path. You will be on two sides at the same time.. They will never understand the split. They can not. They lack your experience. Guilt. You will feel guilt. You will still think about cutting your throat. You will still starve yourself in an attempt to complete your slow suicide mission. A suicide mission that makes you smile inside because then eventually, eventually the shadow path will be gone. Free. You believe that you will be free. And you fucken grasp onto that belief and continue to wait for that day to come.

The love people will try to interfere. Do not be afraid. They will only interfere in a positive way. But you are afraid. You try to explain but can not form the words to make them understand.

You dream of creating a mind sync contraption to show them the nightmares in your mind.