The Superman Fallacy

I Almost Die (Again)

two

It was close to 2:00am when Guita gave me a stiff nod that signalled I could leave without the threat of unemployment hanging over my head. I wearily stuffed my crumpled apron into my locker and didn't even bother changing out of the 'Mazza Luna' t-shirt. It could wait. I yawned, fumbling my keys to the floor. Alex swept them up with a good-natured grin.

"God, you're so lucky you live right upstairs," I mumbled. I shrugged on my jean jacket. For all I knew, I would end up sleeping on someone's doorstep before I ever made it back to my apartment.

"Careful what you wish for," Alex sang, dangling my keys from his index finger. "That also means I have virtually no excuses for being late to work." He raised an eyebrow as I snatched my keys from his grasp.

"The lesser of two evils," I replied. "How do you have so much energy right now? I feel like I'm a gazillion years old right now." My joints were stiff, my hips were cracking. I was supposed to be a spry 23-year-old. Alex chuckled.

"We just got a new espresso for machine. I had two shots before the night even began." He shrugged. "I'll probably be up for another two hours." He groaned, looking at the schedule. Guita had slated him in for 8:00am. Rough.

"I'll see you tomorrow night," I said with a salute. Alex opened the door for me.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Alex peeked outside onto the street. Somewhere, a dog barked.

"Nah, I should be fine. What's the worst that can happen?" I waved him off. The concern on his face didn't go away.

"You're just not that big," he said slowly.

"I'll be fine. Promise. Have fun with that caffeine crash," I replied, stuffing my hands into my pockets. I jogged down the alleyway, gagging as I passed our rancid trash bin. The night was a little chilly, but not uncomfortable. I lived about 4 or 5 blocks away, which wouldn't be a lot for the average person, but Guita had worked me hard. It felt like an eternity away. God.

Despite the time, the New York city streets were hopping. Who were these people? Why weren't they sleeping? Maybe they were all vampires--a whole city full! I giggled out loud. I needed sleep.

This time around, I made sure to look both ways--twice each way--before crossing the street. I'd been lucky the first time. At this time of night, I would be lucky if anyone offered to scrape me off the pavement.

I paused on the side of street for a few seconds, seriously considering hailing a taxi and being done with it. It only took me another few to realize I was virtually broke and could barely afford a cup of coffee on a regular basis. Curse post-secondary education. I didn't have two nickels to rub together. I continued on my (not so) merry way.

My journey, up to a very specific point, was overall successful. I only got cat-called on three different occasions and was making fairly decent time. On block 3, though, the night took a real turn. I rounded the corner, daydreaming (does it count if it's at night?) about putting on fuzzy socks and falling into bed. I was so immersed in my fantasy world that I almost missed the full-grown woman being thrown into the adjacent wall.

"Shit!" I shrieked. I watched as her back snapped painfully against the brick. She slid down to the pavement, her head flopping forward. Like the moron I am, I said: "H-hey. Are you okay?" There was a bright red rivulet of blood running down her dark skin. I'll take that as a no.

"Oh my god, oh my god, okay--uhhh--let me call someone. Don't move. Okay, you're unconscious. Great job. Let's all just stay calm--" I knelt beside the woman, fumbling in my pocket for my phone. My hands were being unhelpful and shaking like a small frightened dog. What a convenient time for no one else to be on the street. As I was searching frantically for my phone--I was definitely panicking--I noticed what this lady was wearing. She had on a white bodysuit, tight to her skin. It shimmered as it reflected the passing cars. On her face sat a matching white mask. I sat back on my haunches, looking at her. I mean, she was a beautiful lady--full lips, pore-less skin, hair that fell in perfect bouncy ringlets. I was also thrown off by the fact a hero, someone who was supposed to be keeping the city safe, was lying in front of me on her deathbed.