Everyday Thoughts.

Avicii

So,  he's been on my mind ever since his death,  April 20th, 2019.
I loved him so much before that,  but never thought about him like I do now.
I guess you could say that his death was a wake up call.
I saw someone else post the same text on Instagram and thought it was very true.
Hah, True,  the name of his most popular album.
I've named an oc (Original Character) True,  intentionally named after that album.

I have to admit, his very last tweet kind of gave me a bad vibe, as well as it did others. It sent chills down my spine.
As you can probably see in the picture above, he was thanking @billboard on Twitter for nominating him for the BBMAS. 
He seemed a bit happy there, not gonna lie.

They say that his cause of death was suicide by a broken wine glass bottle.
I refused to believe it when my sister told me.

I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It was just uh..
Almost a year ago (will be in two months), on a Friday afternoon. I just had came home from school. I was in a good mood, I was scrolling on my social media, being a teenager.
My sister got a call from one of her friends.  Her friend was crying on the other end of the phone. I didn't know what had happened, I just figured it was family problems or something. Like five minutes later, she drags me from the living room and into our dining room. She sat me down in a chair in front of her and was hesitant about saying anything. She proceeded to tell me what all the hullabaloo was,  regarding her friend. I listened,  because that friend of hers was also a friend of mine.
I won't forget those heart breaking words that come out of her mouth.

"Avicii... Died."

I won't forget that day.

I cried.

All weekend.

I was exhausted come Monday.

It was a very bad week.

Today I follow Avicii fan pages, taking screenshots of his precious pictures every once in a while.

I call him my son.

I have a friend I met this year (this is my last year until I graduate) and she has a celebrity that died before she turned 3.  He went by the name of Elliott Smith.

Her and I have classes together.
One being Web Design, which of course had computers in the classroom.
We'd look up pictures of our "Sons" and just grieve together. 

Why the name "Son"?

If we felt no romantic/sexual attraction to a guy,  we'd call him our son,  even though we might be younger than they.

If we found them precious, they were our sons.

Why not daughters as well?

We'd focus more on the guy's because heck, we're straight. We love girls,  but not in a sexually attraction way.  You get me?

Back to Tim.

I'd feel empty knowing he isn't alive anymore.
I had a theory at one time that he might've faked his death to get out of the spotlight. They said before that he was an introvert and that he hated being the center of attention.

I'm not gonna lie, I hate it too.

I never raise my hand in class.

I don't ever talk to anyone else but my friends.

I hate being looked at.

I heard from Tim's family that he struggled with the meaning of his existence.  The meaning of life. He just wanted to find peace.
This is just me, but

Who needs the meaning of life?

It's pointless.

There is no meaning,  in my opinion.

We just...

Exist to exist.

He left us too soon.

In web design, before Christmas, we got to build a website on Weebly.

Of course my friend made an Elliott Smith fan page,  I started out with the idea of making a site on the endangered Red Wolves, but I quickly changed my mind when Tim popped into my head.

I don't normally do homework, but when I didn't finish the site, I went home and did some more on it. I'd spent more time than I had expected, and it turned out great.

I hope he found the peace he wanted.

May his soul rest in paradise and in peace.

I might do another page on him later on.

But for now, I'm ending it here before I start crying again.