I spent the day laying around watching tv. I didn't hear from Taehyung all day. I went from angry to sad to angry again.
I take a shower and blow dry my hair.
I make my way downstairs to rummage through the fridge to look for something to eat.
My head is pounding, I need to get rid of the constant rumbling in my stomach.
I close the door after finding nothing and grab the crackers in the cupboard when I hear the door shut.
I freeze and suddenly I get chills running down my body.
I hear him put his keys down, his foot steps walking towards the tv room then stopping and turning towards the kitchen.
I try to hurry out of the back way but he turns the light on and catches me.
"Ivy.." he says in a low voice. "Why are you in the dark?"
I grab ahold of the crackers and hold them up.
"I was just getting a snack, I'll be out of your way"
I reach in the fridge and grab a water bottle and quickly walk past him.
He grabs my arm.
"Can we talk?" he says softly.
"Maybe tomorrow" I say as I pull from him and continue walking.
"NO, now Ivy" he yells
I stop at the stairwell.
"I wanted to talk to you last week Taehyung, and last night but you pushed me away! So NOW I'm supposed to drop everything for you because you want to talk?...NO"
I continue up the stairs and he follows me.
"We have to talk this out..I don't want to continue this" he says following right behind me.
I get in our room and close the door but he comes right in.
"Leave me alone Taehyung!"
"No! I want to talk to you" he raises his voice.
I throw my water bottle at him, but it misses him and knocks over our picture of us at Halmoni's.
"FINE you want to talk, let's talk. Let's talk about what an ASSHOLE you've been to me since I lost the baby. How you haven't said how you felt..How you.."
"I couldn't..I didn't know what I felt, I never had a baby before. It crushed me. To see you going through that...KNOWING I couldn't help you..It tore me to pieces. Is that what you want to hear? Seeing you lying there in a pool of blood I thought I lost you. I finally find someone and then I thought I lost you. Jesus Christ Ivy give me a god damn break. It's not easy for me to express my feelings, I want things with you, I want a future with you, I want babies with you...I never wanted that with anyone. Then you lose our baby...It fucking hurt. You think you're the only one that hurt?" He interrupts..
"How was I supposed to know Taeyhung? We could of went through this together. You pushed me away. I needed you. You left, you didn't come home. You didn't show me affection. I needed that. Do you not find me attractive anymore? Are you with someone else"
He runs his hands through his hair and comes towards me putting his hands on my shoulders.
"Ivy listen to me"
"No Taehyung stop" I push him off. I can no longer hold back my tears.
"Baby don't push me away" he comes towards me again.
"STOP!, you don't realize how bad I needed you! you fucking left! I hate you Taehyung! I can't even stand being in the same room as you right now!" I cover my face to hide my tears.
