Colors In Disguise

Chapter 2

After their fight, it didn't take Phil long to come home and apologized. They quickly made up and spend the rest of their night cuddling on the couch watching Buffy. It didn't take long for Dan's little problem to slip from his mind.

The thought of bingeing didn't come back to his mind until over two weeks later. Dan was having a little bit of writer's block, he had loads of ideas for videos but none of them seemed to be the right one to film. The fans had been hounding him for a week now, asking him when he was going to upload next. He knows most of them were just teasing him when they joked about how little he updated, but that still didn't stop the words from going straight to his head.

Dan was currently laying on his favorite patch of carpet in their hallway, he had been there for over three hours trying to come up with a video idea. But nothing he thought of was something he wanted to film. He would ask Phil about it but he had gone out earlier to spend time with PJ and Sophie, Dan had declined to go, knowing he had to film something today.

He groaned in frustration; this was getting him nowhere. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw he had a text from Phil.

From: Phil

To: Dan

Did you film a video today? People keep @ me on Twitter asking when the next one is. I don't know what to tell them :p

From: Dan

To: Phil

Not yet but I have a really good video idea, I'm going to film now.

To: Dan

From: Phil

Ok, bear see you later love you <3

To: Phil

From: Dan

Love you too Phil

He sighed, he hated lying to Phil but he just couldn't tell him that, once again, he wasn't going to be able to upload a video because his shitty mind can't come up with something creative. They were in no way struggling to make a living; Youtube paid their bills and allowed them to put some aside for the future but they still had to put out content. Phil had upload three times since he last had and they had uploaded several gaming videos since then as well. He couldn't help but feel like a failure; he knew he was just a fuck up. He couldn't even get a stupid video up on time. Tears started leaking from his eyes when out of nowhere his stomach let out a loud grumble. That's when the light bulb went off in his head. He stood up and quickly dashed to the kitchen.

He swung the cupboard open and his eyes scanned the contents. His eyes fell on a packet of crisps. He licked his lips and reached for the bag when his eyes fell on a full bag of chocolate cookies. Grinning he pulled both of his treats down and turned around to get a bottle of Ribena out of the fridge when his eyes fell on the half a pizza that was still in there from the night before. His heart sped up just thinking about the satisfaction all this food was going to bring him.

He carried all his food to the lounge and plopped down on the sofa, setting the food out in front of him on the coffee table. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath; this was going to feel so good.

It didn't take him more than ten minutes to finish the entire half a pizza as well as the full bag of crisps and cookies. He groaned as he laid down, he was absolutely stuffed to the brim. His stomach was so full it was uncomfortable, but that is how Dan liked it. His eyes slipped back in his head as he drifted off to sleep.

He was jolted awake when he heard the key in the door. Shit, he hadn't cleaned his mess up he couldn't let Phil find him with all this garbage. He took all the garbage and shoved it under the sofa, he would have to take care of it later.

"Dan I'm home," Phil called cheerfully.

"I'm in the lounge," he yelled back, hoping he didn't sound off.

"I'm starving; I think I'm going to have some leftover pizza, do you want some?" He called from the kitchen.

Dan's blood ran cold. Shit, how was he going to explain half a pizza missing?

"Dan, where did the pizza from last night go?" Phil walked out with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Uh...I...uh dropped it on the floor on accident earlier," he said, saying the first thing that came to mind.

"You what?"

"I went to have something earlier and accidentally dropped the whole pizza on the floor I had to throw it out." He said not meeting Phil's eyes.

"Oh ok, I guess I can make myself a sandwich then. Do you want one?"

"Uh no thanks I think I'm going to take a shower. I'm all sweaty from the lights." He said dashing out of the lounge passing a very confused Phil.

He slammed the bathroom door behind him and sank to the floor. What was he going to; do he couldn't start this again. He had been doing so good he thought he had grown out of this shit. His breathing started to pick up, on the verge of a panic attack.

"Dan, are you alright?" Phil gently knocked on the bathroom door.

He choked in a sob "I'm fine Phil."

Phil was quiet for a moment. "All right. If you need anything Bear, I will just be in the lounge."

With that he walked off, leaving Dan to himself once again. The guilt was so strong he felt like he couldn't breathe. This was part of the cycle, feeling guilty after a binge had been something he had grown accustomed to over the years. He almost had forgotten how bad it got. He slowed his breathing out and stood up. Looking at himself in the mirror, he promised himself this was the last time he was going to binge.