Summer Solstice

Love And Hate

{{{"Is my dancing that impressive?" His lips turned up slightly once more. He now had both arms around me, pulling me closer. I laughed nervously. How many songs had they played? How long had I been in his arms? It was strange, I couldn't seem to think clearly tonight. The heat of his body was intense, it was much too comfortable being this close to him. It was also strange, dancing like this, with him. }}}

He seemed content to hold me close, so I curled my arms upward, and twined my hands behind his neck. His eyes closed. I leaned my cheek against his shoulder, wondering what had happened in the last twenty-four hours to make him tolerate me this much. As we turned, I saw a group of boys, about our age, looking very unhappy. I stood up straight, tugging slightly away from him.

He glanced down at me, "What?" He stared at me for a moment, "Oh, I'm making you uncomfortable." Looking down at the floor, his face crumpled slightly, and he mumbled something to himself. No, he was making me very comfortable, in fact, I missed the warmth from where our bodies had been touching. "It's not that, I just don't like to be stared at."

His cheeks turned a dull bronze. "Sorry."

I almost laughed, I stopped dancing and looked at him. He thought I meant him? Had he been staring at me? I shook my head slightly. "The boys, over there," I turned my head in their direction, "they were staring, I know how I must look to them. Especially next to you." My voice strained on the words. Being pale in a crowd full of perfectly tan tribal members, I knew I stood out. He frowned, looking at them, then back to me.

"I think you look beautiful." He smiled.

That was the final straw. I snapped my hands out of his. He looked shocked. I could handle him playing nice for Kaida, but false compliments from the boy who was most likely suffering from my company? No.

I stormed off the floor.

"Waite, Andy, please?" No, not tonight. I would walk home in the snow in high heels before I would endure some kind of false friendship from him. I sailed past the railing and got to the edge of the tree's before his arm caught my waist, I slapped his hand away.

"What's wrong?" He sounded confused.

I turned on him, "What's wrong? Honestly? What's wrong? Hmm, let me see. For the last eighteen years, I've been nothing more than a thorn in your side, and tonight.... Tonight you can't seem to remember how much you hate me. Tonight you 'd rather keep me to yourself, when I know, I KNOW you'd rather leave me in a hole somewhere where I can't bother anybody."

His outstretched arms fell to his sides. His face twisted, the smile from earlier now mangled on his face. He pulled his fingers through his hair, then took two steps past me, into the snow. I started walking back towards the dance floor. His warm voice stopped me. "I'm sorry. I can't even try to apologize for the way I've treated you, I've been terrible. I shouldn't have expected you to forgive me."

An apology? I turned back to see his hands balled into fists, his knuckles pushing into his eyes. He looked like a beaten man. He had never apologized to me before. "I...I'm..." I didn't know what to say. "I'm tired, maybe I should go home."

"No, no please stay, please!" He turned and grabbed my hands, holding them tight. "I'm sorry I hurt you, there's no excuse for that." I held up one hand. "No, it's fine. You are not going to pretend to be friends with me, it's just not going to happen, leave it."

He glared at me. "Friends?"

"Yes, friends, you are allowed to love or hate whoever you want, don't do this to make your sister happy."

I would much prefer his hate to the way he was making me feel right now. My insides were twisted around, waiting for the next blow. His eyes turned bleak, a dark depthless black.

"Hate whoever I want?" He moved closer, only inches away. I wanted to back away, the savage tone of his voice was scaring me.

"Yes..... hate whoever you want." Wasn't that obvious? I told him I wasn't going to make him be my friend, just to please Kaida. We would both be miserable.

"Love whoever I want?" His words caught me off guard.

"Wha... what?" He wasn't making any sense now.

His face was torn between sadness and pain. "Am I allowed to love whoever I want?" His voice was raspy. I was still confused by the question. He was much too close now. He snaked one arm around my waist, one hand gliding up to my face. Tugging gently, he pulled me closer, his fingers drawing lines down my cheek, my chin.

"Yes?" My voice broke on the simple word. He smiled slightly.

"Anyone?" He pulled me closer, his arm wrapping completely around me. He leaned his forehead against mine, his breath mingled with my own. My hands rested on his chest, ready to push him away. I did want to push him away, didn't I? The heat from his body was consuming...... what was wrong with me? Maybe I'd caught what he'd had the night before. I shook my head no. Confusion was replaced by a searing heat when his fingers pulled my face up to look at him.

His eyes were soft, seeking... "You?" His sweet breath tickled my face, corrupted my thoughts.

"Me...?" I had lost the question again.

He chuckled lightly. "Can I love you?"

My brain was screaming at me, too many questions much too quickly, and my only answer to all of them was that Konai had indeed been struck by lightning the night before. That would explain this evening completely. But my mind ached, telling me to say yes. Say yes.