ᴄʀᴜᴛᴄʜᴇs || ᴊ.ᴊᴋ + ᴋ.ᴛʜ ✔️

twenty-three: empty spaces

No, there was no 'if.' Hoseok felt it was his responsibility. He both wanted and needed to be by Tae's side, as moral support, as his best friend, who hurt inside whenever Taehyung would show that open discouragement, that unrestrained heartache that he only hid when Jungkook was around.

And since Jungkook wouldn't be around for the next couple months, there was no motivation to hide it.

Hoseok wanted to have and show hope for Taehyung. It wouldn't be easy, but he knew that by now.

That the things that were worth fighting for were hardly ever easy. That's just how life tests perseverance, dedication, worth.

On the first day of the summer break, Hoseok had breakfast with his family before his dad and older sister left for work. It was still quite early, but he didn't mind. He was always an early riser. He felt that sleeping in too late meant he wouldn't get the most out of his day. And Hoseok had learned his lesson by now, the error in letting the little things slip away. And out of all those things time was perhaps one of the most significant.

He contemplated calling Taehyung, eventually deciding against it. If the boy were sleeping, he wanted to let him sleep. At least while it was still early. So he simply texted instead.

me:

good morning taetae :)

i hope you slept well last night

i'll probably stop by a little later

He wasn't about to let Taehyung spend the entire day wasting away in his room, so he would give him a little time, but too much time and the boy could possibly get the impression that staying indoors for the next couple months was okay. And maybe for some, it was, but not for Taehyung. Hoseok knew his friend well enough to understand Tae needed to be active, at least to some extent, to keep his spirits up.

So again, Hoseok took that responsibility. Moreover, he was proud to do so. Because even if Taehyung didn't realize it, he had inspired Hoseok to be a better, kinder, more selfless person. And nothing Hoseok could ever say or do could get that point across as vividly as he would have liked.

It was nearing nine a.m. Early for some, but not at all to Hoseok. He felt it was a safe time to begin heading over to Taehyung's grandparents' house, so that's what he did. Leaving his mother with a kiss on the cheek and a cheery goodbye, he went on his way. Down the sidewalks of his rather quiet neighborhood, whose streets were even quieter at this hour and at this time of the year. Past houses and shops alike, passing by a small bakery that made him remember the one Jimin often worked at with his father.

Except, obviously, Jimin wouldn't be there, given he was at a beach resort with his family. And Jungkook.

Hands in the pockets of his jeans, Hoseok sighed deeply. He worried about them, too. About Jungkook, about how the boy was doing, how he was coping, if he would be able to enjoy himself at all over the vacation--this would be the first time, after all, since the accident that he and Jimin went to the resort together.

And Jimin...

Hoseok wasn't nearly as close with him as he was with Taehyung now, as he used to be with Jungkook, but he could imagine the guilt that hung relentlessly on that boy's heart like an anchor. He knew Jimin blamed himself for almost everything to do with Jungkook.

He just wished it weren't that way.

He wished a lot of things. But he knew better, that wishing meant nothing if it involved things of the past that couldn't be changed. Taehyung had taught him that.

Lost in the sea of his thoughts, Hoseok just nearly passed by Tae's house, but stopped himself just in time. He approached the door and gave a few gentle knocks. In a few seconds the door was opened, and Hoseok broadened his smile, expecting Taehyung to be the one who answered. However it was Chaerin, the boy's grandmother.

"Ah, Hoseok, I wasn't expecting you," the woman said, returning the smile shown to her. Hoseok interlocked his fingers and gave a soft laugh.

"Sorry if I'm intruding," he said. "I texted Taetae about it but I should've made sure he let you know-"

"Oh, it's alright-" she waved her hand dismissively. "-you're not intruding at all, dear. Come inside."

"Thank you, Miss Chaerin."

With Chaerin's permission Hoseok stepped into the house, closing the door behind him as quietly as he could. He then turned to the elderly woman and asked in a soft voice, "Is Taetae here?"

"I think he's still in his room," she told him. "I don't know for sure if he's awake, but it wouldn't hurt for him to get up now so if you'd like you can go see for yourself."

Hoseok gave a brief nod and smiled again. "Thank you, I will."

"No need to thank me, dear."

Yet he did so again, right before ducking around the corner to head upstairs to find Taehyung's room, which happened to be straight ahead once he reached the top of the stairs. He knocked quietly on that door. No answer. He turned the knob slowly, pushing it forward.

Tae was lying still on his bed, in his Winnie the Pooh pajamas, fast asleep and tightly hugging his blanket while his head was closer to his chest than it was to his pillows. Hoseok smiled fondly at the sight.

"Silly old bear..."

He almost didn't want to wake him. Tae looked so peaceful, off somewhere in dreamland where his sorrows and worries weren't bothering him.

Hoseok let out a deep but quiet breath. And he looked around the room--not the tidiest, but he wasn't the type to lecture anyone about the state of their room when his was just as bad if not worst. A decent scattering of clothes, video game console out in front of the small tv screen in one corner of the room, several dresser drawers pulled out, more clothes pouring out of them.

This boy has too many clothes...

Hoseok felt an urge to help his friend tidy up his mess of a room. A little surprise, perhaps, when the sleeping boy should finally awaken. The redhead smiled to himself and started picking up the dirty clothes from the floor, setting them aside in separate neat piles. He packed away the game console in the empty compartment beneath the stand upon which the tv was placed. Then he fixed Tae's dresser drawers. And finally he looked on top of the dresser.

There was a notebook with a purple cover, opened to a page with writing on it that was clearly Tae's.

Both in the recognizable handwriting, and the words written themselves.

"You're hurting, you're confused and I

still think a part of you loves Jimin,

and that hurts me, and it hurts

that I don't feel all that important to you,

and that you keep pushing me away

every time I get close to you, and I'm sad

that you won't let me help you,

not with anything, and still...

I still want you..."

He smiled a sad smile and gently closed the notebook, setting it down once again atop the dresser. Hoseok then sat down beside Taehyung on the bed and shook his arm until he was stirred awake.

Tae rubbed his tired eyes. It took a minute, but Hoseok waited patiently for his friend to look him in the eye. He didn't let his smile falter.

"Wanna go play soccer?"