Brian's been on the road for almost three months.
I can't say how much I miss him.
It's hard not being able to go over to his house and see him whenever I want.
Even harder when I know I can call him, but he won't always answer.
I didn't think being away from him would be as hard as it is.
Even harder when my I think about graduation.
It's tomorrow and Brian's not gonna be there.
I try not to get angry, but it's so hard.
I've never been the best at managing my feelings, especially my anger.
My cell rang and I jumped to answer it when I heard the ringtone.
"Hey." I said softly.
"I miss you baby." Brian said softly.
"I miss you too." I told him back.
"Are you excited about your graduation tomorrow?" Brian asked.
"I guess so." I said.
"You guess so? You've been working hard for this. You deserve that diploma Cynthia." Brian told me firmly.
"I know, it's just---," Brian cut me off.
"It's just nothing. You know how much I want to be there baby. But I can't leave the tour. I promise you that I'll celebrate with you the second I get home." Brian told me.
"I know baby. It's just hard, having you away for so long. I just need time to adjust." I told Brian.
"I'm sorry, Cynthia. I really am." He said softly, his voice sounded so sad.
"Don't apologize. You don't have any control over it." I told him.
"I know we just started talking, but the guys are calling me back." Brian said.
I took in a deep breathe.
"Okay. I'll talk to you later then." I told him, trying to hide my disappointment.
"I love you." Brian said in a deep and sure voice.
"I love you too. Be careful." I said softly.
"I will be. Bye baby." He murmured.
"Bye." I repeated.
I hung up the phone and looked down at it.
I'm gonna be getting a lot of calls like this.
I really hope I can handle it.
I looked at the time and sighed.
"Time to go to bed." I told myself.
I got up and made my way to my bed.
I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep good.
Not as well as when Brian is here.
But I need to get as much sleep as possible.
Tomorrow is the big day.
****
I walked across the podium nervously, thinking of all the bad things that could happen.
I could trip over my robe and go flying across the stage.
I could throw my graduation cap and catch someone in the eye.
With all these people here, my car could get broken into and I would be absolutely pissed.
I took in a deep breath when I saw Sasha walking towards me.
"Thank God." I gasped, hugging Sasha tightly, her hard stomach hitting against mine.
"What's wrong honey?" She asked me softly.
"I'm so nervous. All those people out there. What if I trip and look stupid. Brian's not even here and I wish more then anything that my dad could be here to see this." I told her, my eyes started to burn and get red.
"You know that Brian would've done anything to be here. He has to work. And you know we all miss him too. But your dad is watching over us. Always has been. Always will be." Sasha told me softly, smoothing back my hair.
"I know." I told her, swallowing the tears.
She kissed my cheek and smiled.
"I'm so proud of you, Cynthia." She told me.
I smiled widely and hugged Sasha.
"Thank you Sasha." I told her.
"You're graduating today. So be happy." Sasha said, pinching my cheek with a grin.
I smiled widely and hugged her again.
"You brought the video camera so Brian can watch the graduation when he gets back right?" I asked her.
"Yeah of course." Sasha said with a grin.
I nodded and watched as she walked away.
I shook myself and got in line.
The ceremony seemed to zoom past and the next think I knew, I was about to be the next one called on the podium.
"The next student we are happy to present with a diploma of completion from San Diego State University, is Cynthia Molina." The headmaster said.
I had barely taken two steps when I heard an uproar from the audience.
I didn't turn to look at my family who was screaming loud for me.
I could hear them loud and clear, as if they were right next to me.
I smiled widely and shook the headmasters hand, taking my diploma firmly in my hand.
The rest of the ceremony past in a blur, much as the beginning.
The only thing I wanted was to see my family and go celebrate.
I walked off the stage and made my way back to the entrance gate.
We had all planned to meet there after, so they wouldn't have to go through the masses of people trying to make it out of the exit.
I made my way closer to the exit, I saw my family.
The widest smile made it's way across my face and I started walking faster.
I saw the outline of a familiar person and I stopped in my tracks.
"Brian?" I gasped.
He grinned widely and I could've cried on the spot.
He came.
He actually came to my graduation.
I ran over to him and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, my lips instantly making contact with his.
I couldn't pull away from him, and after a few minutes a cough pulled us apart.
I pulled away gasping for air and I laid my forehead against Brian's.
"You came." I gasped, my eyes burning with tears.
"Of course I came. I wouldn't have missed this for the world baby." Brian murmured.
"I'm so glad you're here." I whispered.
"I love you baby, and I'll always be here for you." He whispered.
I nodded, smiling and feeling at peace for the first time since Brian left.
I believed his words, and I knew he was telling the truth.
He would always be here for me.
And that was enough for me.
