It's been awhile since I wrote anything here. Something happened this past Friday. I'm always going to remember it, that date. February 8th, 2019, Friday. Will always be in my head, will always be remembered. Why? Because on that day, I had sex for the first time. I lost my viginity to a really attractive boy I met online. He's 17 and I'm 15. We met on this app called Yubo. We talked for a month. Planned this out and wr had sex in his car. He parked his car right infront of my apartment too, when wr had sex. It was a white SUV. It felt good. I gave him a blow job, he penetrated my vagina and anus. It was good. Then he kinda freaked out and stopped. He said, in his exact words. "I can't do this. I don't know why but I can't."
So we stopped and put our clothes back on. I wasn't frustrated or amgered. He was embarrassed but I reassured him the best I could that it was alright. I even kissed him for a few minutes afterwards. He told me to sit on his lap, so I did and he hugged me. Then a car passed by and he told me to get off. His mom texted him telling him to get home too. Then the next day he unfriended me on Snapchat, and on Yubo he told me he can't do this anymore. And that he was sorry. He asked me to delete his number too. I said I would then he blocked me on Yubo too. He practically fucked me then ghosted. I don't know if he felt guilty or if I did something wrong. Or maybe I turned him off with my chubbyness. Idk. I feel very self-conscious though. But I don't regret anything. We used eachother. And don't worry we went and bought condoms before. We went half and half on paying for it. He kept calling me beautiful and gorgeous too. I just feel sad that he ghosted on me the day after. Oh well.
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