The Light Within [Completed]

Heart of Stone

Solveigh kept the promise she had made to herself. She didn't cry, she didn't complain, she did nothing. Some days she even forgot to eat. The only reason she left her room was when Jacen or her parents physically dragged her out.

They were concerned, naturally, but Sol didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore. If she let herself feel anything, care about anything, even the good stuff, the pain would sneak its way back in. And Sol couldn't stand the pain of knowing she would never see again. It was too hard.

Most days she lay in bed, listening to music, or sometimes the television. The noise kept her from thinking. The gang had tried to visit her a couple times, but Sol had refused to see them. She couldn't bear to let them see her like this. She couldn't face their pity... even if she hurt them.

Sol did feel kind of bad about ignoring Jacen. He'd given up the opportunity of a lifetime. She kept telling him to just go back, it wasn't too late, but he wouldn't budge. Sometimes he was more annoying than Mom and Dad. He came too close to breaking through her carefully constructed walls.

And Mom kept going on and on and on about the stupid therapist. Solveigh kept telling her that she was not going to any sappy recovery group. Mom said it wasn't like that, but Sol had made up her mind.

Sol would never admit it to anyone, but there were times where she really, really wanted to get out and do something. Especially after Jacen talked to her. But the fear of what her friends and family would think of her paralyzed her.

She'd been home for almost a month now, and the only time she had left the house was for her doctor's appointments. Dr. Hendrickson said her concussion was healing well, but he expressed concern about her apathy. Sol had overheard him tell Mom that she needed to snap out of it. She had to get out and talk to people. Do something... anything.

Her whole life had revolved around BMX. With that gone what did she have left? Sol had never been one to sit still. She had always loved getting out and 'being active' as the adults said. Now she couldn't do any of that. What else was she supposed to but stay in her room? At least there she wasn't putting her life at risk with every step.

Jacen said she needed to find something new, but everything Sol could think of required being able to see. Her brother just shot back that she learn to do a lot of things even though she couldn't see. "Being blind doesn't mean you're useless!" Jacen had finally exploded at her, "You're acting like you're already dead! You're hurting your family, your friends, and yourself!" He had slammed his fist into the wall, "Come on Solveigh! Quit acting like a selfish, spoiled child and grow up!"

"How can say I'M being selfish!?!" Sol had screamed back, "I'm the one who's blind! I'm the one who had to give up everything... EVERYTHING... I ever loved because of a stupid freaking accident!"

Jacen's voice was filled with restrained anger, "That may be true, but just because you can't have the dream you always wanted doesn't mean you can't do anything. Sure, it'll be hard. Harder than anything you've ever done before, but you can do it. You can learn how to live. You're the most stubborn brat I know Sol, you just have to channel that stubbornness for your own good."

With that, Jacen had stormed out of the room, leaving Sol feeling strangely off balance. Am I being selfish? Maybe she had been, but no one even tried to understand how much she was hurting. But then she hadn't even tried to tell them. Not really.

Jacen, drat him, had found a crack in her stone heart. Sol couldn't go back to the way she'd been before. It had been safe, that fog of numbness. Now she had to face reality, and it was terrifying.

After her brother had stormed out of her room, Sol had sat, thinking hard about what he had said. For hours she sat, fighting with her pride and her fear and her anger. But finally... finally she admitted defeat. Jacen was right; she couldn't waste her life away in this room. She had to do something.

Sol slipped out of her room and carefully made her way into the kitchen. "Sunny?" Mom sounded like she couldn't believe Sol was standing there, "Are you okay?"

Swallowing her pride, Sol said, "Mom... I'll go see that therapist guy."