II. Unrequited Love

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Dear unrequited love,

I remember the first time I saw you. The memory of that particular day is fresh in my mind.

I remember the unanticipated flutter of my heart, the sound of my quickened pulse thrumming against my skin, the soft crinkle of your eyes and the beauty of your dangerously enticing smile.

I remember the sound of your raspy voice as your rosy lips parted and asked for my name and the unforeseen warmth spreading through my veins causing the blush to swallow me whole.

I remember it, you see.

I remember it all.

As a child, I'd always believed magic or enchantment only exist in those inked books and colourful cinema. The butterflies in tummy and racing heartbeats were merely man's most poetic ways to enhance the illusion of 'love'.

It was a façade I had always thoroughly believed in.

But then you walked into my life like a Prince on the day of coronation- proud, gleaming and pompous. As if I was born only to be claimed by you.

You took away the deceptive safeguard I didn't even know I had. You left me baffled, gasping and vulnerable. I was clueless about your massive hidden powers to allure anyone to yourself. And I fell into an abyss of your words and laugh with no way out.

And just like they say in the movies, I was bewitched, entrapped in a spell so powerful I almost lost control over myself.

Almost.

I remember the day I utterly and completely lost control. The day our seemingly perfect hands entwined. The day you so ever delicately held my fingers in between yours. My love-struck mind came to the immediate conclusion that you were one of the missing pieces of my unfulfilled life. You were the one to steady my erratic heart rate. You were the one I would share my humiliating, sorrowful and gleeful moments for the rest of my life. You were the one who I'd bare my soul to. You were the only one I'd ever have the good fortune of loving with all my heart. You were THE ONE.

You see, dearly beloved, when we are in love, or at least our minds think we are, we tend to consciously avoid anything that deters from the path of what image we had formed of them.

I was no exception.

I saw past all your natural flaws; I defended all your acts. I tried to look for constructive reasoning behind all your words and actions.

In my head, I made you into someone you never were.

And like a prey stuck in a cobweb, I found myself trapped in a maze I made on my own.

Funny how our brains work.

And that's it. That's all it was.

Those feelings were always a figment of my imagination. Those emotions were an extract of the mirage I had created of you.

It was all in my head.

A fantasy I could never share with anyone.

I stored it all away and convinced myself that I would never converse it with anyone because you would never feel the same.

I was a coward who was scared of heartbreak, even though that heart had always belonged to you.

Never yours.

Never yours

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