Worth Living For // Frerard FanFiction (Completed)

-2-

Gerards P.O.V
I woke up and it was Friday, I could soon spend my weekend sleeping.
My morning was the same as always, same routine, same depressing thoughts.
I put on my black clothes, and black eyeliner, I sighed as I pulled away from the mirror, I wish I could like myself atleast a little.

I walked out and greeted my family.

"Hey gee, please have some breakfast" my mother pleaded calmly.

A few years back, I was an XXL, and now I am a M.
I didn't want to throw away all that work to make someone else happy, yea my stomach may be screaming at me, but I went through alot to get to where I am now.

"I'll grab something at school" I lied.

"You ready Mikey?"
He nodded, jumped out of his seat, and slung his bag over his back.

-

Car rides were usually akward silence between us, until Ray got into the car.
They would talk about everything from the latest videogames to all the drama happening at school.

We pulled up and I pushed my earbuds in, I made my way to the window, secretly hoping Chad would come up again, he didn't.

Classes went on for what seemed like years, until P.E.
Not only was I blessed with being In a class with Chad, I got the added bonus of the class being P.E.
Chad was 2 years older than me, and the only reason we were in a class together, was because I chose P.E as an elective, Purely to see him.
They mixed the P.E boys together.

Chad was 18 and I was 16, was it wrong to feel this way, I mean, I couldn't help it, his pitch black, curly hair, and the way his cheeks were always a bright shade of red, what's not to love.

He caught me gazing at him and he winked.
I let my head drop down to hide my now bright red cheeks.

The rest of the school day passed slow, one thought remained on my mind, and it was an inner battle between myself...should I text him?

I mean, he must feel something?
He winked at me, maybe it was just a twitch?
God sometimes teenagers scare the living shit out of me, the things they are capable of, the feelings.

I debated the decision throughout the drive home, and throughout my Friday night.

Eventually I settled on yes, what could I loose?

-

I woke up at 10:43am to an empty house.
Mikey was at Rays and my Mum was at work till late.
This was the perfect opportunity.

Hey Chad, wanna come over and chill with me, maybe we can watch Netflix, idk have fun??

Sure ;) be there soon x

What???

I was super confused, but I let it slide, I wasn't going to let my paranoia ruin this.
I cleaned up and got out some snacks.

-

After 10 minutes I heard a knock on my door, sure enough, it wasn't him.
It was the mail man here to deliver our bills.

Almost an hour had passed and I was at the point of giving up, until he let himself in.

"Oh hello" I said.
His lack of manners and courtesy  didn't bother me, I was just happy that Chad was in my house.

"So what do you want to watch?"

"You choose" he replied.

"Lets watch American horror story"
I got all happy.

"No! That shit is horrible, put on a comedy"
I was a little disheartened by this, but again, it didn't bother me.

-

Halfway through the movie he had chosen, he started to say stuff.
"So what's your deal, are you gay or nah"

"No I am" I was confused on why it mattered.

"Ok well, it's been half an hour and you still haven't sucked my dick or anything like that" he snapped.

Why would he think that?

"I mean that's what Netflix and chill means of course?" He said.

How was I so dumb, I basically invited him over to fuck accidentally.

"That was NOT what i meant, actually, Chad, please leave, this was a mistake, I'm sorry for the mix up".

"No" he started inching towards me.
"I came for one thing, and you are going to deliver" he snickered.

Before I realised, I was grabbed by the wrists and pushed against the wall.
His lips crashed into mine, and the grip was to tight.

"Cha-...get of-.." I tried speaking, or even breathing, but nothing.

He started to bite my neck and he pushed himself against me.

"Get on your knees"

"No, Chad s-stop!" I struggled as he was pushing my shoulders down.

"GET THE FUCK OUT" Mikey busted through the door.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY FUCKING BROTHER BEFOR I KILL YOU" he threatened.

Chad let me go and stepped back before swinging a right hook at my cheekbone.
He ran out like a coward.

I dropped to the floor, blood dripping out of my now exposed wound.
Mike grabbed the first aid kit and helped clean me up.

The tears running down my cheek were boring my exposed flesh.

"Shhh it's okay" he hugged me and rubbed my back.

I fell into his lap, ashamed and embarrassed.

-

I Stayed in bed the following day, so many thought rushing through my mind.
He didn't mean it.
It was my fault.
He didn't hear me say no.
I should have gone along with it.
I ruined my one and only chance to make a good impression on Chad.
I couldn't wait for school, I was going to apologise and make it all better again...or atleast try...