Voice | choi hyunsuk

08

Choi Hyun Suk

As I opened the house door, it creeked open but revealed an empty house.

Mom is out again today. "Noona~ noona~ noona~" Its empty and silent until Doyoung starts talking.

I went upstairs and laid Doyoung at my bed but he insisted on getting up only to stumble and fall to the floor.

"Aigoo, you still are a kid." I helped him up and put him back in the bed once again. "But Hyunsuk hyung..." He called holding my arm, "How do you know Soyoung noona?"

He asked still out of his mind. "He really can see me, what the hell is going on?" Soyoung asked going closer to Doyoung.

"Noona's right there!" He pointed at her. "Yah Doyoung, you're serious right?" I looked at him in the eyes and asked in a serious manner.

"Why wouldn't I be?!" He whined like a 6 year old, first time I actually saw Doyoung act like a child. He acts mature for his age when he's sober.

"But noona..." He shifted his gaze to Soyoung,

"You were missing all along weren't you? It wasn't true... it wasn't true that you died right?" He asked looking straight at Soyoung, her expression softened and moved even closer to get a better look of his eyes.

"What do you think?" She asked holding his hand.

"They said you died, I attended your funeral and all, but I couldn't believe any of it. So I didn't tell the truth. When someone asked if I lost a loved one, I said I didn't. Sure lying was bad but I believed that you were still alive, I felt bad but I wanted to cling on some little hope even if if meant by fooling myself." He spoke from his heart, letting out a chuckle after everything.

"But I won't be fooling myself anymore right? Since you're here!" He cheered. Maybe because he's not in the right state of mind that he could see Soyoung, but I know his feelings are something he has been keeping from within.

After all, drunk sayings are sober thoughts.

Doyoung never told us stories about his sister, it is kind of amazing how he was able to keep it from us all these years.

But the thing is, he had no one to speak about his feelings. I guess he had the anxiety of people thinking he's childish, immature and unable to accept reality. That's why he hid it all along, this kid is more like me than ever.

We're believing the return of someone fooling ourselves that the consequences we know well doesn't exist.

Still waiting for someone you looked up to, even if you know yourself they won't come back.

After talking quite a lot, Doyoung fell asleep in an instant. Soyoung and I sat down beside the bed looking after Doyoung, just sitting down in silence.

"You see what I mean about regrets?" Soyoung broke the silence. "Just explain it, I won't say anything this time." I replied.

"Alright," she chuckled "You know after I died, I wondered why I was still here. The first few days I just roamed around, then I found myself at our home. I went in and saw Doyoung, our aunt was yelling and smacking him. Yeah, that's the kind of life we lived."

"Our parents died when I was 16 and Doyoung at that time was just 12. We were minors so we needed a guardian and our aunt was the one who stepped up for the position. Turns out she just treated us like trash, making us like her puppets. She paid for our education sure but still doesn't make up for the things she did. She would smack us, say awful things, and scold us for no reason."

"And at school, there was really bad rumors about me. People gossip about me having no parents, poor and looked down on me. Home was tough, school was tough, and even so I had to take part-time jobs because as we grow up our aunt cares less about our tuition fee. At that time, everything was hard and I felt smaller and smaller as the day passes."

"And that's why I killed myself. That's how I died."

"But when I saw Doyoung getting scolded that day, I realized that I was only looking at myself. I didn't realize that someone needed me and because of that someone had to suffer even greater."

"That's probably why i'm here right now. The regrets are piling up and punishing me for being selfish."

Even though she tore down her suffering into minutes of speech, I felt her pain after that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She let out a small laugh and noticed the look in my eyes. "Don't feel bad for me, I deserve it afterall."

Her eyes wandered and ended up looking at the ceiling or maybe she aspired to look further than that. Even if we look at the sky we won't be able to tell the difference because they both look dark, no stars to be found.

"Don't think that this is just a punishment." I spoke up, "It was tough that's why you wanted a break, who could blame you for that. But maybe this is a chance given to you to fix everything you think you ruined. To get rid of the regrets." I said.

She stared at me and a soft smile emerged in her face.

"If you say so." She replied briefly. "But you know, there was one person, when I was still alive, that made my day a little better." She had added.

"Huh? Who?" I asked due to curiosity.

"That's the last question you should ask. He's still making my day better after I died." And that—was the answer I met.

She smiled at me, the hair behind her hair became loose and fell down on the side of her face gently.

"Choi Hyunsuk, thank you for listening to me."

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A/N:

Trying to do update as much as I can in the weekend! Congratulations to Yoshinorin for gaining a spot but im still waiting for Jihoon 🤧

And also, please let me know what do you think of this chapter! I would appreciate feedback so I can improve more and deliver better chapters to you guys

Thank you for all the support in this book, for 1k reads and 100 votes. It may be a small number for some but I really appreciate it! Thank you to everyone and see you on the next chapter!