Close Your Eyes: Book Two

Chapter Eight

I poke him in the chest.

"Will you stop screaming?" he asks. "People are watching."

"I don't give a shit who's watching! Why are you so obsessed with keeping things from me?!"

"Keeping things from you?!" he demands, and now he's angry, too. "Like what Savannah? Name one thing!"

"Uh, how about you and Maria?"

"Something else, since you make it sound like I do it all the time." He responds angrily.

"The reason you stayed up all night at the stupid sleepover with fucking Aubrey? What about that, huh?"

"Savannah, oh my god!" Liam explodes. "It's been two fucking years! Will you just let it go?!"

Mason and Sofie are kind of standing off to the side, exchanging glances with each other.

Mason knows about this, too.

"No, I'm not going to let it go! You keep hiding shit from me! All the time! You'll start to say something and cut off mid-sentence! You lied to me about Maria, and now you're pissed off because I'm onto you and your bullshit! Why did you break up with Maria, huh?!? Or are you just going to lie again?!"

Liam runs his hands down his face and shakes his head a few times.

"I can't do this anymore." He says, and he looks at Sofie and Mason. "I can't keep doing this."

"Keep doing what Liam? And why do they know about it? Why can't I know about it?!"

"Dammit Savannah, stop shouting at me!"

"Then stop lying to me!"

"You want to know the truth?" he demands. "Fine, here's the fucking truth," he takes a deep breath. "I have been in love with you since first grade. I love your laugh, your smile, your attitude, and how angry you get at me! When you're in my face screaming at me, I still love you! When you got kidnapped, the feelings faded but they never fully went away, and then I got into first period your first day back in junior year, I told you to get out of my seat, but then I looked into your eyes and I saw the color of the ocean! So I sat down in the seat next to you because I realized it was you! I thought you were dead, Savannah! For six years, I thought you were dead, and even though we were kids when you were taken, it destroyed me! You dropped the pepper spray and I knew how bad the consequences were, I knew why you had it, so I said it was mine! I was an ass to you for the first week and I'm sorry for that, but my feelings for you were, and still are so strong that I didn't know how to handle it! My hate for Aiden and what he did to you grew every single day! I stayed up all night at that sleepover because I wanted to make sure I was awake if you had any nightmares! I was so tired the next day that I fell asleep driving, and again when I got home from dropping you off! I woke up panicked because I didn't call you to tell you I was sorry for yelling at you, so I got to school early just so I could make sure you weren't angry! I broke up with Maria because I was just trying to use her to get your attention! I was going to stay in Hawaii for you! If you asked me to, I would drop out of college right now and follow you anywhere, on this planet or off, because that's how much I love you! I initiate every hug, and you always pull away first, because if you would let me, I would wrap my arms around you and never let go! That's how much I love you! You hate fighting, but I don't mind it, because I would rather have you screaming at me than leaving! I want to fight like husband and wife because I want to be husband and wife. I don't want some random girl to have my kids, I want you to have my kids! I want to get a house together and get a dog together and make big important decisions together." And tears roll down his cheeks and I feel like I've just been punched in the face.

Liam is crying. Liam Cabraro, the boy who didn't cry when he tripped over a jump rope in third grade and broke his arm, is crying.

He's crying over me.

"I'm so sorry, Savannah," he wipes his eyes, and he just looks...tired. "I'm sorry for hurting you, and I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

My breath is caught in my throat and I feels like my lungs just...just shut off.

Love? Liam loves me like marry loves me?

He wants kids with me?

He's been in love with me since first grade? That's-

My mind starts working insanely fast.

That's twelve years.

I've only been alive for nineteen years, and twelve of them, Liam spent in love with me.

I can't move. I can't breathe.

Do something!

It's quiet. He's not saying anything, but I hear him sniffle and my eyes find their way to his face.

His eyes are red. His nose is running.

He's actually crying.

I take a step away from him, and then another.

And then my legs start working and I turn around, running as far and as hard as I can to get away from him.

The ground slips out from under me and I fall hard, feeling pain in my knee.

I scramble back up and just keep running tears blurring my vision.

________

RIP

~Sam