Doing It Wrong

They Don't Know

            “How precious” Dr.Ellis smiled. “And what about her father is he around”

            The minute she brought it up was the minute Tavi’s smile faded away and she got this weird feeling in her stomach. “He’s in the picture”

            “Well that’s good. And what about you two are you dating or just co-parenting?” She asked.

            Tavi once again felt that weird feeling but instead of her stomach it was in her chest and it almost made her cry from the ache. “We’re just parents”

            Dr.Ellis didn’t shoot another question out instead she studied Tavi’s face. She looked like she was trying to figure something out and then she shook her head. “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah…” Tavi said slowly not understanding what she was getting at.   

            “I’m only asking because you look a little… forlorn” She frowned. “It’s natural to have feelings for the father of your child trust me”

            Tavi merely nodded not wanting to go further more into the topic. She didn’t come here to talk about that, well at least not yet. She really wants to get comfortable with living on her own and being able to mentally be there for Addison and that’s what she plans on working on right now at the moment.

            “Okay, let’s move backwards” Dr.Ellis finally spoke. “Let’s go back to you living alone. How does being alone make you feel physically as far as heart rate increase and things of that sort”

            “Well my heart rate does pick up especially around night time” Tavi cringed thinking about being by herself tonight and she never realized that it has a lot to do with her past and all this time she thought it was about her being kidnapped. “Um… my hands are always vacillating, I have a hard time breathing, lots of pain in my chest” Tavi listed all her latest symptoms as Dr.Ellis wrote them down.

            “Off the bat I can tell you that you have anxiety” She looked up at her. “I’m gonna write a prescription for a medication for you to calm those symptoms and hopefully it helps but we don’t just wanna cure it with medication we wanna cure it with talking out the problems”

            Tavi nodded. “Thank you!” She really needed something to calm her and if that’s what the pills are gonna do then she would have no hesitation on taking them.

            “I think you being alone is actually a good thing” Dr.Ellis said in a matter of fact tone. “The only way to get over something is to face it. I want you to embrace the lonesomeness and use to your advantage. I’m not saying take a break from all your friends but what I am saying is that a few days out of the week spend some time alone in the house and get in touch with the loneliness because if you continue to be afraid of it your anxiety is gonna become worse and we don’t want that to happen”

            She took in everything Dr.Ellis was spitting at her and she liked it. It was all starting to make sense and she was realizing that she was put in this quandary for a reason.