Crescendo

Chapter 32

DANTE

Guilt. Confusion. Sorrow.

All of these emotions weigh Alex down as he sits in the hospital waiting room. Turner and Christian sit beside him. But as they wait for an update on Sky's condition, there's no idle chitchat or worried outbursts between them. Instead, they're stonily silent. Each of them are consumed in their own thoughts.

The only real thought Alex is having, over and over again, is that he should have known. He'd been aware that Sky was suffering from his addiction—but this? Suicide is something he never expected, hadn't even imagined Sky was capable of it.

Why?

That question also plagues him.

Why would Sky do something like this? Sure. Going to rehab is a tough reality to face. And obviously, the band breaking up plays a part in it. Does that mean Alex is partially to blame? He's the one who wants to break away from the band. He's the one that dropped a bombshell at their meeting the other day. Maybe if he hadn't, Sky never would have done this.

For Alex, Sky has always been this unbelievably joyful person. He was continually laughing or cracking jokes. He made everything he was a part of fun and optimistic.

So why hadn't Alex seen how much the guy was hurting?

Only a seat away from him, Christian can't stop wondering about the same problem. Maybe there had been a darker side to Sky no one had realized, a side he had hidden. Christian can remember much lighter times when he and Sky used to party together. Back then, everything had been easy. Sky's drug use seemed like a side effect of the rock and roll lifestyle. Christian hadn't seen any true harm in it until the overdose on stage. With this second, potentially fatal, emergency, Christian understands Sky's depths. The true depths of desperation he must have been feeling to try and take his own life. Christian shudders at the possibility his friend may have succeeded. No one has come out to tell them how Sky is, and that only heightens his anxiety. Reaching his breaking point, Christian is the first one to break the silence.

"What the fuck is taking them so long?" He growls.

"Christian..." Turner begins wearily, but there's a hint of danger to his tone too. "If you start bitching right now, I swear—"

"I'm not bitching!" Christian argues. "I'm concerned. If they would just get out here and tell us—"

Christian stops his tirade as Alex rests his hand heavily on his shoulder.

"Christian, this is tearing all of us up inside, but we've got to stay calm. For Sky." He points out. His truthful words instantly subdue Christian's mood. He gets that he's not the only wrecked one. Like they are all here for Sky, Christian should be there for his bandmates too.

"I know what you're thinking," he says to Alex, studying him carefully. "You're blaming yourself, and you shouldn't. The band breaking up, it's not enough to do...something like this."

Christian's sincere in trying to comfort him. With everything that's happening, with the reality that they might lose Sky, all of the past shit and the stupid fights between them are meaningless. All that matters is that—with or without a band—they're still friends.

Alex gives him a half-hearted smile, grateful but sad. "Then what is? What could have possibly made him do this?"

"I don't know, but..." Christian cautiously glances over at Turner. The guy's completely defeated, shoulders slumped as he stares down at the ground.

"I'm sorry you had to find him like that, Turner," he finishes.

"Not as much as I am," Turner mutters, lost in his own world.