She Wolf ☾stiles stilinski [ongoing]

18. Ech-alm Yourself

[If you see any mistakes, make sure to comment and let me know :) this is not edited/shocker right?/]

"Mom... I'm fine."

She clenched the steering wheel tightly, making her knuckles turn white while she closed her eyes and inhaled at my lie.

The thing is, I'm not fine. I was never fine. No one could ever be fine loosing someone so fast. Or be fine considering they were a teenage werewolf who also has the ability to sense death. I tried to ignore that fact, but it was getting easier to take in the reality. Everything was different now. It was getting harder to stay in control.

'Please turn green...' I thought frantically as I looked between my mother and the red light glowing through the darkness, biting my lip and bouncing my knee. It needed to turn green. I couldn't bare seeing my mother like this.

The silence rolled on, accept the sound of rain trickling onto the van filled the silence. The rain just wouldn't stop since today.

"Sam..."

"Mom. I said I'm fine," I moaned in aggravation, turning away from her and resting my head on my hand. The thing that scared me was that I didn't even hesitate that sentence. It was almost like second nature, as if I didn't even need to think before I spoke for her response.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you lying?"

She was probably just making sure I really want to do this. That I really was making the right decision to check myself into the Eichen House. I don't think I could lie any more. I couldn't bare to lie to her any longer. I thought maybe it would become easy to let a lie slip, but I would get a small guilt trip in my gut.

"...Yes."

Flashback:

The only other place other than the Beacon Hills hospital I hated with a pure passion was the Beacon Hills animal clinic. Not even an hour ago, I was strangled by a possessed teenage boy who was trying to suck the pain out if his best friend. And not only that, but some vet, who supposedly a supernatural guru , told me that I was some kind of werewolf banshee hybrid.

So you could say every time I come here I feel the urge to have a nervous breakdown.

But I felt slightly better sitting next to Allison in some random chairs we decided to plop onto in Deaton's office. Scott was talking with Deaton, so I decided I should ask what I've been dying to ask Allison.

"Allison..."

She looked over in reply at my hoarse voice, switching her position to face me in the waiting chairs in Deaton's office. I was still shaken up and was wondering if I could even talk at this point.

"How do you do it?" I blurted out after severel seconds of her staring at me, waiting for me to finally spit out what I was going to imply.

"Do what?"

It took me a second to try and grasp what I was about to say. So I finally forced it out.

"Stay... So... Strong. It's like this hasn't effected you."

She said nothing in reply, just stared at me blankly. I couldn't read her expression, so I continued.

"I wish I was more like you Allison- you're just so fearless. And- and you stay calm through all of this with your grades and-" I stopped rambling when I looked up at her, looking like she was about to burst in tears.

"Allison?"

"I'm not... Fearless. I'm terrified. I'm always terrified. I act like I know what I'm doing, but I don't. I don't know if Isaac is dying right now. I don't know if I made a mistake with Scott. I don't know what my dad is thinking. I don't know if we should trust Derek. I don't know... I don't know anything," She gulped out as each word turned into a whisper while she tried to swollow the tears, her eyes searching the floor.