Dead and alive

Chapter 1

, i'm sick of these four walls. i'm tired of sleeping and this plain color on the walls is driving me crazy. i'm starting to think i'll never get out of this place. they might keep me in here forever. they keep repeating the same sentence, "when we'll find a cure for your disease, we will let you out." and i keep asking what do i have, what is this disease that i have? why are they wearing masks when they bring in my food? why are they avoiding touching or talking? i've never been out. i'm here since i was born, well since i can remember i guess. i dont know what is out there. the only person i really loved was my teacher, Derek. he never told me what i got, he taught me everything about the world out there, he is the only figure i know when i think of human faces, and myself. he never wore masks, he talked to me and hugged me, he taught me to talk. to read, he taught me Math and Science.

He stopped coming last week and i wonder if he is okay, the last time he came he ran to me and hugged me, "I'm not coming back, they're going to kill me and they will kill you too. please find a way to get out of this place!" he said breathing heavily. i could'nt say anything i just nodded and he left. i wonder if they killed him. i never knew what sadness was before, Derek told me everything about feelings. we can't avoid them, but we must overcome them. push them aside and move on with our life. i knew what tears was. i never had the courage to cry, especially when i know about all these people looking at me behind this camera. but i thought about derek and the tears just came. "What did you do to him?" i leaned to the camera. "Answer me!" i yelled at them. i never yelled at them before, i was never rude. but im stuck in here 16 years tommorow and i want to get out. i will get out. i promised Derek i will. and i will.

I Know they are looking at me all day long. i never had the courage to break something or to get mad. Derek used to call me the "perfect teenager." i was afraid, i still do. but i decided im taking risks. i looked at the camera, and i pulled it and it stopped working. and then i realize that i have nothing to do from now, i have no way of getting out and they need to be here any second to punish me and fix the camera. though i knew how human looks like i always wonder if there's something out there, something different something dangerous. Derek told me about bad people who takes people's lives. well i know that this room and the people who's locking me in here are taking my own life. I know there are more patients in here because i heard them talking about Patient number 5. that's how they call us here. i'm number one, because im here the longest. i know that when the scientists decide the you're no longer a danger, you get a "promotion", Derek said "you level up". you get to be with other people. you can talk to someone. i can talk to other people beside Derek! but i'll never get there. Derek once told me that i'm different but now i know that he is like me. what am i that people are so afraid of me?