sunlight. || j.hs || ✓

19. nightmares

*contains vulgar language and minor self harm*

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"fuck you! why are you still here? you don't deserve be living!"

"i wish i never gave birth to you, you annoying bitch!"

"take you and your dumb brother and leave the house!"

"you went outside with a boy? you ungrateful whore!"

y/n woke up in a cold sweat. her forehead, upper lip and back were drenched in sweat, out of fear. she ran her hands through her hair and clenched her hair, hurting her scalp. 

"oh my god, stop it!" she started crying, having mental flashbacks to when she was a child. 

"get out of my head!" she screeched, as she hit her ears, hearing the voices of her so-called parents, desperately wanting to get rid of them.

hoseok woke up groggily to the sound of y/n screaming. he didn't like the sound of it. he looked up and saw y/n hitting her head very hard, with her own hands.

"y/n! stop hitting yourself!" he took her hands and held them to stop her from hitting herself again.

"they're in my head again! get them out!" she started squirming under his hold, shaking her head vigorously. 

"y/n, stop it! you're hurting yourself!" he let go of her hands and held onto her head, burying her head into his shoulder for support. she didn't wrap her arms around him as she usually would, probably out of shock, or trauma. she just sobbed and sobbed, in his shoulder, until she calmed down and was able to speak again.

"i-i'm s-so s-or-ry-y." her voice was choppy and sounded very weak. "i-i j-jus-t wa-ant-t t-to slee-ep." she looked up and met his worrisome eyes. "l-lay wi-ith m-me ple-ease?"

"of course." hoseok would gladly do anything for her.

"th-thank you."

they both laid on her bed, and y/n buried her head into his chest. she was so close to him, she could hear his heartbeat. hoseok wrapped his arms around her waist, and rest his chin on her head. somehow, he held her even closer. he could feel her breathing pattern getting slower, and her tense body, relax in his arms.

"hoseok?"

"hmm?"

"i think i like you a lot."

"me too. i like you too." they both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

----

y/n woke up first, comfortably in hoseok's arms. she just stared at him. she appreciated everything about him. his deep eyes, his soft jaw, and his silky hair. she stroked his hair and started playing with it. hoseok started stirring slightly, and he opened his eyes.

"good morning, sunshine." she smiled.

hoseok was relieved to see her beautiful smile again.

"good morning, beautiful."

she giggled. "shut up." 

"i mean it. you're beautiful." he mimicked y/n's actions, and started stroking her hair. 

"we should get up. we need to feed the kids."

"just five more minutes." he nuzzled his head into her neck.

"come on, let's go." she giggled even more. she sat up, and pulled him up with her. they got changed out of their pyjamas, y/n brushed her hair and put it up into a ponytail.

they intertwined their hands and walked to the bathroom together. as soon as they opened the door of their room, about to wake to the bathroom, they jungkook and ji-eun holding hands, just like they were.

"good morning, guys! did you sleep well?"

"yup! jungkook is a comfy pillow to sleep on. did you sleep well, unnie?"

"i did, actually. turns out hoseok is a comfy pillow as well." 

----

in the bathroom, hoseok and y/n were brushing their teeth together. they also washed their faces, and y/n did her makeup. aka one coat of mascara.

they walked to the kitchen and y/n made her signature cheese-loaded scrambled eggs. she was done frying enough eggs for everybody, and she put them on four plates. she was seasoning them with salt and pepper until hoseok snuck up behind her, and wrapped his arms around her waist. 

"hi."

"hi." they laughed.

"can we talk about last night?"

she looked over to where the kids were, watching morning kids shows. "sure."

he could tell that she was self conscious about it, especially in front of the kids. it's like she didn't want to expose herself in front of them, or make herself look weak.

"y/n, how on earth do you survive your nightmares all alone?"

"i don't. sometimes i stay up the whole night because i'm scared of my nightmares. i don't want to close my eyes and fall asleep again, because what if i dream again? i just wait for the sunlight to make me feel comfortable again."

"you don't turn on the lights?"

"i don't want to wake up kook."

her love for jungkook was exposed even further.

"what were you dreaming of?" he held her hands and made sure she felt comfortable.

"my parents. i was dreaming of when i still lived with them. i felt like they were still in my brain, their voices taunting me, and i couldn't get them out. i, um, i'm really sorry for breaking down in front of you."

"no, it was fine. i want to make you happy. i want to be there for you whenever you're struggling. i want to be the sunlight you wait for every morning."

"what do you mean?" she was clueless.

"y/n, i want you to be my girlfriend."

📷🎶📷🎶📷

a/n

fluff + angst = basic wattpad story :)

but i live for it *mouth pop*