The Diary

•15•

august 7, 2014

Jin walks onto the college campus, excitement flooding over him. He's been waiting for this moment since he started school, he's always wanted to go to this school. He got in on a full scholarship, even though he didn't need it because his parents would've paid for it, although it didn't hurt. He did wait a year though, so he would be in classes with younger people, though he didn't mind, it was a nice vacations from school for a bit.

his parents had a big celebration, all of his high school friends wishing him a goodbye, they always talked and texted each other, all promising to stay in touch.

he makes his way to the music department, he's here to continue his dream, for free at that.

he walks into the room and greets everyone excitedly, this class is one of the more advanced classes. the school assigned him classes he would have to take in order to keep the scholarship. the school prides itself on its success of the students.

he sits next to a boy, about his height from what he can tell. he quietly sits waiting for instructions from the teacher.

"Hello, im Min Jinho" the boy beside says with a bright smile, he's wearing nice clothes and has his hair done. jin, on the other hand, likes casual clothes and styles his hair the way feels like, which is usually rushed.

"Hi! im Kim Seokjin" he answers excitedly back, he's ready to start the rest of his life, ready to study into his dream, the one he's had since very young.

"are you a freshman too?" jinho asks getting more intrigued with the happy boy next to him.

"Yeah, I started late though" Jin explains sitting back in his seat, seeming to settle down a bit.

"I did too!" jinho says sitting up, "my brothers in my classes," he says rolling his eyes a bit, jin chuckles.

"let's be friends" jinho states boldly smiling at jin, jin laughs a bit and nods his head excitedly.

over the next two months, they got close, very close. they always hung out, they would go over to each other's places, mostly to jin's since he lived alone. they would play games, watch movies, and always seemed to laugh. jin did notice how protective jinho had grown but figured he just cared deeply for their friendship.

"seokjin?" jinho asked one night as they were having a sleepover at his house while yoongi was at a friends place, they were on the couch watching a movie.

"yes?" jin asks turning his attention away from the screen to be meet his gaze.

"are you......... gay?" jinho ask quietly.

to be completely honest, jin didn't really know.

he was never focused on dating.

"i-i don't know," Jin says unsure.

then that's the moment that started it all, the moment jinho leaned in and kissed him.

and to be honest jin did feel sparks, but that's only because at that moment he didn't see the real person jinho could be. after that is was official, they were dating.

one week later...

"who are you texting?" jinho asks next to jin on the couch.

"my high school friends" jin explains while typing one of them back, they were planning a trip together.

later that night, jin went to bed with a shattered phone, and a shattered perception of the boy he thought he knew.

the next day jin simply went and got a new phone, the only problem is that he didn't know any of their numbers.

their relationship didn't get any better from there, jinho getting more and more possessive.

he came home drunk one night, to Jin's home. he forced himself onto jin, jin pushed him off explaining that he was tired and didn't feel like it was the right time.

let's just say jin lost something that night. something he didn't exactly want to lose yet.

so, why didn't jin break up with him?

because jinho already had his hold on him. controlling his phone and social media platforms, making sure jinho was the only thing on jin's mind.

jin still managed to smile.

even though he had no one left.

after that incident jinho started getting violent, over the small things.

once when he came home to no food in the kitchen because jin was too busy practicing to go out to the stare, jinho walked all the way to the university dragging jin all the way home from the middle of class.

jin walked to the store that night with a few new bruises and one cut.

a big incident that happened was one-time jin finally got into contact with one of his high school friends through a secret Instagram account he made on his computer for school.

while jin was gone in one of his classes, jinho went on the computer to try and find the password to one of their streaming services. but when he turned it on there was already a tab open.

jinho waited hours, skipping his classes for the day, waiting until jin came home exhausted from all his classes that day.

he opened the door to a dark apartment. he quietly slipped his shoes off and set all of his stuff in a cubby by the door.

he takes quiet steps to the kitchen where he was shocked to see jinho sitting at the table staring at him with a strong gaze. he hesitantly walked over to sit across from his putting his hands on the table reaching towards jinho. that's when he realized jinho's hands were in his lap.

"im the only one you should care about"

that's the only thing he said before he reached out trapping jins hands, he pulled a kitchen knife from his lap. jin eyes went huge and tears started to form, he started to shout but jinho didn't stop.

he carved a giant 'J' on jin's hand, slowly, and deeply.

after he was done he got up and cleaned off the knife before going to the bedroom shutting the door. jin just sat there, his blood and tears covering the table.

that was enough for jin.

the next morning jin faked a smile and made his way out with his backpack filled with notes and lyrics, like every morning. But he didn't make his way to the police station.

their split-up was messy, and jin received many threats.

but jinho finally went away.

but the memories didn't.

the scared 'J' didn't.

and Min Yoongi sure as hell didn't.

and that was a threat jin constantly faced.

if only they'd listen, then they'll know, the lies he told, the lies that changed jin forever, that changed his reputation.

the only thing that didn't change was his dream, he still worked hard.