Nasty Grind

Ch 30

I looked at him side ways. That was a huge account for me. "Why?"

Ryan sighed, and looked on the side of me, "the CEO stated that they are looking to do business with someone else."

"Someone like who Ryan?" I crossed my arms over my chest. He was speaking nonsense, and couldn't even look me in my eyes. I was the most qualified person in the department, and I wanted to know why would they pull me.

Ryan sighed, "someone that isn't dark skinned..."

I had to breathe, and count to ten. Did the Barkley's use the race card with me? Because I was black was the excuse that they had given

"So they want someone white?"

He shook his head, "or light skinned. I'm sorry Tarzana, but this is a huge account, and I really don't want to lose business with that company."

"Are you fucking kidding me Ryan. Because I am not fair skinned, I don't get the account? My dark skin intimates them that much. I am the best asset to this fucking team! So what did you say Ryan?" I was upset, and I didn't give a fuck if my "blackness" was showing.

"Please calm down Tarzana."

"Fuck that, what did you say to defend me? The person who has been by your side for the last four years!" I asked him.

"I said nothing." He sighed looking to the floor.

"I'm the only black person in this company, and to be discriminated by an outside source without my boss even defending me is fucking rediculous! I quit!" I screamed, and got up to leave.

Ryan followed me to the door, "please don't quit Tarzana, you know how I feel about you, you're like a daughter to me, and it's just one account, we have plenty who love to have you."

I rolled my eyes at Ryan, "goodbye Ryan, good luck on your new account." I opened the door and walked out. I wasn't valued in that company as much as I thought.

I bypassed Ms. Sara who was sitting at her desk, she followed me to the elevator. "Where are you going Tarzana, you have a meeting in ten minutes."

I pressed the button on the elevator and turned to face her. I was really going to miss Ms. Sara. "I quit. I was racially descriminated in this office, and I'm not having no parts of it. My "blackness" was a huge problem to some people." I explained to her, and hugged her until the elevator doors opened.

Ms. Sara had tears in her eyes, "I'm going to miss you. You take care of yourself."

"I will." I waved goodbye, and stepped on the elevator. When the doors closed I started to cry. I worked hard to get where I was today, and to have my skin color thrown in my face was a no for me. I had been bullied and called Blackie growing up, and I shouldn't have to be reminded of my skin color everyday in a work environment.

I stepped out of the elevator, and headed back to my parents house. I was going to be alright.

I had called Kiara to pick me up. I didn't won't to ride the city bus home, I was stuck in my thoughts of what I needed to do. Kiara pulled up in front of my former job, and I got inside. She looked happy, wearing her Gucci shades, and tight white thermal shirt.

"Hey girl!" She cheerfully said, pulling away from the building.

"Hey." I said to her.

"You're off early today."

"I quit today." I said with a straight face. "I don't want to talk about it."

Kiara drove toward my parents house, taking the freeway. The car was silent, and I needed it that way. I really didn't want to talk to her anyway, I had a lot on my mind.

"I'm sorry Zana." Kiara said.

I became irritated. I told her I didn't won't to talk about it. "Stop being so fucking sorry Kiara! You're sorry for sleeping with me ex! You're sorry for getting pregnant! You must be sorry that I'm dark skinned and had to quit my job too? Just shut the fuck up!" I screamed at her with tears in my eyes.

It was hard growing up dark skinned, everyone use to say 'youre so pretty to be dark skinned,' I hated that. It was hard to get ahead being thought of like that. The light skinned girls had it easy, like Kiara. After high school, I thought that everything would fall into place, but it felt like I was back at square one again defending my own skin complexion.

"Is that what happened?" She asked me.

"Ki, I'm tired of being looked at like that. I love who I am, I worked hard to love myself, and look at me now, jobless because of what happened today." I cried.

Kiara touched my thigh, "you are beautiful. Always had been. Fuck them! You'll find work, you're so smart, and everyone who meets you falls in love with you."

I smiled at her, "thank you."

"Thank you! You know how many times you've saved me from myself? I appreciate you Zana, I really do. Don't let anyone, especially a job determine who you are. You are you! You are special, kind, beautiful and a wonderful person."

I broke down and cried, "then why did Chris leave me?"

Kiara got off the freeway, and pulled over, "because he is selfish. If he has to say and do you like that, then he isn't the man for you. Don't downgrade yourself for a man, or even a job."

"Can you take me to the bar, I need a drink."

Kiara smiled, "of course, and then we can stop by my place and have a girls night since we're both jobless." She laughed, and started down the street to the local bar.

         ****

Rick

Laying on a pullout couch in an abandon house, my thoughts were everywhere. The drugs were making me think to much, and I kept staring at the gun on the table. The naked white woman beside me had fallen asleep after the sex that I had given her.

I had shot the wrong man, that bullet was meant for the man sleeping with Zana, and here I was hiding out because of Vanessa's murder. I had heard that the cops were on to me, so I decided to lay low with one of the hoes I use to fuck with.

"I need to get high Nancy, get up!" I smacked her ass hard so she would wake up.

Nancy opened her blue eyes, and then rubbed them, "what time is it Rick?"

"Time for you to go turn some tricks so I can get high."

She sighed, and got up from the pullout bed. She was thinner than she was a few months ago. The crack was eating at her muscles, and she was all bones. "Give me an hour or so, and I'll be back."

I smiled and lay my head back. I had to make some calls to some friends, I needed information on Zana, and I needed Eric dealt with. He tried to kill me, and all along that man was not my homeboy. I didn't know what his issues was with me but I was going to find out.

"Nancy, you better bring your ass back here too, and when you do you can get some more of this dick." I was practically begging for her return. For one I was horny and needed to get high, and for two she may run away from me, and I just couldn't have another bitch try to leave me, I just couldn't.

"I will big daddy." Nancy grabbed her wrinkled red dress, and pumps and headed for the door.