His Blue ✓

36| Locked in

    "I was just reminding myself that you're worth waiting for." My chest rises and falls with my shallow breathing. "As a boyfriend."

It feels like I'm holding my heart out again in hopes that he'll want to snatch it up. Please say you want me... after all of this.

"So you've not changed your mind since Saturday?" He asks. I can't make out the emotion in his voice when he asks.

     "Anson, I just can't compromise what I believe is right, for us." My voice escapes in a quick breath.

    I expect his face to be skeptical or judgmental. He instead looks reserved and thoughtful.

    "You asked that we wait for a relationship before anything got out of hand." He tilts his head to look closely at me. "I'm sorry I let things get so screwed-up in the first place."

      It would be a lie to say that I'm not surprised by this apology.

"Well, thank you." I manage.

     "I'm sorry you didn't feel like I was listening. Or that you couldn't trust me." He continues.

    "Well I don't like facing my problems." I admit. "Especially when they're tall and handsome and stubborn as hell."

     He chuckles at my words and ruffles his blond hair with a hand. "What you said Saturday," He shakes his head. "I have to know if you truly thought I was taking advantage?"

My face flushes red. "No." I say honestly. "I've always known that you wouldn't do that to me. I'm sorry for insinuating-"

    "No. You were right to say something. Even if what you said hurt to hear." His hand presses to his chest, to his heart. He frowns. "It taught me that I need to figure this out, Blue."

    Words spoken in anger and sadness often hurt people, I've realized.

     "I'm sorry if I caused you pain." I make sure to say.

Wow, that was strangely easy to admit.

     His jaw twitches. "I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't talk to me."

    " I'm sorry that I assumed the worst of you." I exchange.

    "Of all the things you could assume," Anson sighs, "and you thought I didn't want you?"

     I shrug. Why did I think that? Seeing him here today, it doesn't seem true at all.

     "I guess I was scared that you might not."

      My back presses against the door, and Anson's eyes scan my face. "I do want you, Indie." He says seriously. "And not just as a friend."

     My mouth goes dry.

    "I just wanted to be perfect for you." His voice breaks. "When I said those things about being rushing things- I meant that I didn't want to rush myself, thinking I would ruin things if I tried too early."

"I want to be enough." he adds.

A flicker of vulnerability passes across his face- sending a desire through my heart to grab him by it and kiss him again.

    "You are enough." I say. "You're enough for me."

     "I want you to be sure."

"I am."

He presses against me, as if he needs to be close to me physically to also be close emotionally. His hands are on my hips. His eyes are narrowed down at mine.