His Blue ✓

6| Don't do emotions

     "I love myself better than you, I know it's wrong so what should I do?"

     I watch as a young wiry junior grasps the microphone and sings into it. His voice is raspy and deep. It has a good sound.

     "What made them do a Nirvana song?" I ask Fern, looking at the musicians playing.

     She takes a bite of cheeseburger and shrugs. "Band kids have no rhyme or reason."

     I laugh and take a bite of my burger.

      Somehow I am suddenly reminded of yesterday afternoon, and I feel that I need to tell Fern about me and Anson yesterday, but I'm not sure how she would respond to it.

     After all, Anson is still just the popular quarter back. I can't tell Fern his secret about his past, so I have to alter the story if I tell her anything.

     I decide to keep my mouth shut.

     "So," I begin, "how's Leo?"

     I avert my eyes from the singer and look at Fern.

     She smiles and blushes. "Oh he's so perfect." Her green eyes seem to sparkle at the mention of him.

     "Did I ever tell you that he plays football?"

     I shake my head. She never told me that detail.

     "I think you left that part out." I say. Probably a good thing.

     "Oh... well, he does. He's not as important as  Anson or Bryce obviously,"

     There's mention of Anson again...

Thinking back to him, I remember how he was mostly quiet when he dropped me off at home after our walk through the park. I haven't talked to him since then, of course.

     I recall hopping out of his car without a word; he in turn sped off as quickly as he arrived.

     My mom was still at work, so I didn't have to answer any invasive questions about the sandy-haired, blue-eyed cutie driving me around in a camaro convertible when I got home.

     Bryn noticed however, and I assured her that he was just doing me a favor.

     She didn't believe me of course. She thought we were dating. I quickly informed her that Anson and I aren't even acquainted enough to talk, definitely not date.

     I don't know what we would even talk about after yesterday. We still don't have anything in common, besides a history of depression in the past. And that's not enough to be friends over.

     He's still popular; I'm still not. This is how things are.

Wait... is Fern still talking?

     "but he's still a part of the team." She says happily. "Actually Indie, I was hoping you would come to Friday's game. You could bring Bryn along to watch."

     I think about it. It could be fun..

     And something inside of me wants to see Anson on the field...

     "Of course the band will be marching halftime, but I could hang with you during third quarter." Fern continues to babble in my ear about the game.

     I laugh. "Okay Fine. I'll ask Bryn to come and if she wants to, I will too."

     "Yay!" Fern squeals. "You won't regret it. Maybe you could sit in the student section,"