Fuckbuddies

Feelings Don't Go Away

"I don't get it, did she hear the song or not?", Austin asked me through the phone.
"She did, I sang it for her", I replied while laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, "She thought I wrote it about you"
"What?", he chuckled, "Why would she think that?"
"Cause, I.. Lied to her about something", I started getting a little embarrassed.
"About what?", he asked in curiosity.
"I.. told her that you and I.. slept together", I responded with a grimace.
He could feel my embarrassment through the phone. Then, he all of a sudden burst out laughing. I didn't know how to respond to him laughing at me, so I just waited for him to finish.
"Why would you say that?", he asked while still cracking up.
"Can you stop laughing?", I asked.
He calmed down, and asked me the same question again: "No but for real, why would you say that Camila?"
"Cause.. I wanted to make her jealous", I replied.
"So, did you tell her that I.. forced you?", he asked worryingly.
"No, of course not", I immediately explained, "I made it seem like I was interested. I mean, I told her that I enjoyed it"
"But why would you do that? Don't you want her to know how you really feel?", he asked with a tone of confusion in his voice.
"I was scared. I didn't want to imagine being rejected by her", I said desperately.
We both stayed silent for a few seconds, then I decided to continue: "And I was right", I said and left him even more confused.
"What do you mean?", he asked.
"I told her. She didn't even respond", I replied.
"What did you tell her?", he was still confused.
"Everything. I told her about my feelings for her, about how I rejected you and how you're just a good friend helping me with my love life", I said.
"Did you tell her that you love her?"
His question made me do some reflecting. I did tell her that I had feelings for her, but I wasn't absolutely straightforward. If I'd told her that I loved her, maybe she would've reacted differently.
"Now that I think about it, I didn't really tell her exactly how I feel", I answered.
"Then you have to tell her exactly how you feel. Stop trying to run away from your emotions all the time", he said.
"You know what? Even if she doesn't know exactly how I feel, she does know that I have feelings for her. And she still hasn't contacted me in the past 2 weeks. So I'm not willing to talk to her, regardless", I responded.
"You sound like a child", he was disappointed with my reaction.
"Just shut up", I said, and actually made him silent. So I immediately apologized: "I'm sorry. I do appreciate everything you've done for me, but I don't wanna talk right now. So.. bye", I waited for him to respond so I can hang up.
"Bye", he responded and hung up.
'You're not going to cry right now'- my mind whispered. But once again, my mind failed to control my emotions and I burst into tears.

Meanwhile, Lauren went to visit her family at her parents' house. She barely sees them ever since she moved into her own apartment, but sometimes the loneliness that comes with living on your own is too much for her. So she usually comes back to her old house on the weekends, to have dinner with her family.
"Mama, where are the pretty plates grandma got you for christmas?", she yelled from the kitchen, searching for the plates in the cabinet.
"Umm, I think they're on the higher shelf on the left, above the coffee mugs", Clara yelled back from the living her room.
"Oh, I think I found them", Lauren said while trying to reach for those plates.
The shelf was too high, so she stood on tiptoe.
She finally reached the plates and was about to grab them, when suddenly one of the coffee mugs fell from the shelf straight to the ground and shattered to pieces. One of the pieces flew and hit Lauren's leg, leaving a cut on her left foot.
"Ouch!", she screamed while noticing the blood coming from the cut.
"What happened?!", Clara asked in panic while running towards her screaming daughter.
"It shattered on my leg! That's so fucking painful!", Lauren groaned.
Clara helped her walk to the living room, where she bandaged her leg with an elastic bandage. Once she finished taking care of Lauren's wound, she gave her a soft kiss on her forehead.
"You're okay now?", Clara asked while rubbing Lauren's thigh.
"I am, thank you mama", Lauren's lips curved into a smile as she reached her mom's hand.
"So, what's new?", her mother suddenly changed the subject.
"Nothing interesting", Lauren responded.
"There's always something", she insisted.
"I swear!", Lauren giggled.
"What about your friends? Are you guys still going out sometimes, having fun?"
"You sound so old, mom", she kept giggling, "Yes, we still go out sometimes"
They both laughed. But all of a sudden Clara noticed Lauren's smile faded.
"What?", she asked.
"I haven't got the chance to tell you, mama", Lauren stared deeply into her mom's eyes, making her smile fade too.
"What Lauren?", she asked sharply.
"I.. went out the other day.. With Alexa and Erica", she looked down, "On my way home.. I got sexually assaulted", she added.
Clara was left speechless. She couldn't find the words to respond to those horrible news, but even worse, she couldn't find the words to express her anger towards Lauren, for not telling her about the incident.
"Why did you not tell me about this?", her tone got even sharper.
"I called you the second that it happened, you just weren't available", Lauren replied.
She noticed the guilt appearing on her mother's face, so she continued: "But then I immediately called Camila, and luckily she picked up", she added.
"And?, Clara gazed at her.
"She took me to her house and took care of me", Lauren lips curved into a smile, "She was the sweetest"
Her mother couldn't resist her daughter's smile so she smiled softly in response.
"This girl is truly something, huh?", Clara said smilingly.
"She is", Lauren looked down while playing with the ring on her finger.
"You should invite her to eat with us tonight", Clara suggested.
Lauren immediately looked up, and her eyes met her mother's.
"No", she responded, leaving her mother confused. "She's probably with her family right now", she added.
"Her parents are in Spain, aren't they?", Clara asked with a tone of confusion in her voice.
"Are they.."
"I thought you knew", her mother said.
"Yeah, me and Camila haven't talked for a while", Lauren kept playing with the ring on her finger.
"Why? Did you guys fight?", Clara asked.
"Kind of. She told me that she has feelings for me", Lauren gazed at her mother.
"Really? And what did you tell her?"
"I didn't say anything. I stayed silent so she left my house, and hasn't talked to me ever since", Lauren responded.
"Well, she must've been hurt", Clara replied, "So, you don't feel the same as her?"
Lauren stayed silent for a few seconds. Her mother reached for her hand and tried to look into her eyes, but her daughter was avoiding eye contact. After a few moments of silence, Lauren finally responded: "She's my best friend", she wasn't able to look at her Clara.
"You didn't answer my question", Clara insisted.
Lauren raised her head and finally looked at her mother.
"I think I have feelings for her too", she responded.
Clara's lips curved into a smile. She ran her fingers through Lauren's hair, removing it from her face.
"You should tell that to her, not to me", she smiled.
"No way, she already hates me", Lauren responded.
"Feelings don't go away that quickly. If she told you she had feelings for you, she probably still has, even if you rejected her", Clara kept stroking her daughter's hair. "And besides, she's your best friend. She's always been. That's something that can't change in a day", she added.
Lauren stayed silent.
"You should tell her", she cupped her daughter's cheek.
Lauren leaned in and gave her mother a peck on the cheek.
"Thank you mama", she spoke and cracked a soft smile.