Catastrophe by TLJ

0.5

           

I never pictured myself living a life like this.

With him? The love of my life... the man who spoke life into me when I decided I had nothing else to live for? No, never.

When I was a kid, getting beat until I was black, and blue was so normal for me. Crying seemed okay until it wasn't. Until one day I must have snotted all over myself and the floor... I remember the impact of being slammed into the toilet bowl head first. I remember a face full of blood and toilet water... and tears seemed to help nothing. Snot helped nothing. It released my pain, but it only angered hers.

Still my body betrayed me, and I struggled against her, trying to fight with my seven-year-old might, but it was a battle that was stupid to fight.

"I never wanted her ass and I damn sure didn't want her bastard baby!" She'd said as I felt myself begin to slip out of consciousness, the water winning a life that was unworthy of being lived.

A yank from the water didn't wake me up. Hitting my head against the toilet as I was tossed carelessly to the ground didn't wake me up, but it did leave me bleeding. Her rough, calloused hands that were usually soft woke me up.

Chest compressions. One, two, three, four...

"Breathe, baby, breathe." A deep voice spoke as I began to come to. Arguing could be heard in the next room, but my mind was too foggy to focus on anything other than the man who saved me.

But as the shock of being alive wore off, the pain of living set in. My nose was swollen from the impact of being banged on the toilet, the left side of my head was hurting and my eye ached with the intensity of Hell. I couldn't open it.

"Go! Take you and your crackhead ass boyfriend and go! I take care of her! She's getting loved!" I heard from the next room as the voices began to move closer.

"My baby is half fucking dead you, stupid bitch!" A young woman's voice cried out before I heard a sound, I was all too familiar with. A hand hitting skin. Only unlike the other times, it wasn't me.

The man still held me in his arms as he lifted up and began to walk out of the restroom. I closed my eyes, letting the pain consume me without making a sound.

"Bitch," The woman's voice belted out before I heard more skin being hit. Punches that sounded like they could pierce concrete, screams that could've put me to shame, and anger that vibrated through the room.

I remember simply mustering up a swollen-lipped smile at the man before going completely out of consciousness.

I welcomed the pain.

That was then. But now, with a busted lip and an eye so black it could put charcoal to shame...

But now I knew... my life would always and forever be

A fucking catastrophe.

1/11/19

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