Patriarchy || Dong Sicheng

4

"You are a disgrace," He spat at the six year old and slapped her, "I wish you were never born."

The little girl cried because she was hurt, it wasn't even a tight slap but she cried because she had never seen her father so angry, she never imagined that he would be a monster but here he was.

She wanted to run away, to escape but she couldn't. The world was so big and she was so small.

The man paced around the room, and let out a burning anguish, it sounded like a cry for help, but the girl was too scared to move.

He sat down on the floor,"I'm sorry," He whispered  as he stared at the girl, "I'm sorry that I hate you, I'm sorry that you'll never be better than your brother. I'm sorry that I'll never love you."

He wipes her tears with his sleeve, noticing how she flinched when he touched his own daughter and then, just like that he left.

The girl stood there for hours, waiting for him to come back, until she realized that he left her.

Her father left her alone. She loved him a lot, but he couldn't understand that. Instead, he hated her.

I wake up with a jolt and gasp for breath. My shirt clings to my torso as I sweat because of my nightmare.

This nightmare, it is real. The little girl is me and it is my own Father who told me those vile things, the one who told me that he hated me. It took me a long time to get used to such nightmares, I had no choice as they kept on recurring.

At least, this night was better than the rest because today, I slept peacefully for a few hours before this horrifying reality woke me up. My father, he doesn't even let me sleep in peace.

My stomach rumbles and I realize that it's been hours since I last ate. Looking at the clock, I see that it's 1 am. Thankfully, Taeyong won't be up to bug me and I can make myself something to eat.

I make my way downstairs and I begin to think about the boy I met on the bus. He makes me smile, something about him seems different but I can't trust him just because he is Taeyong's friend, can I?

After all, I don't even know if I will see him again or what his name is.

The house is silent as I walk towards the kitchen. I open the fridge, and just my luck, it is empty. Sighing, I grab a bottle of water, and chug it down. Wiping my face with my sleeve, I close the door and a voice startles me.

"Hey," He says, and my heart pounds inside my heart.

Was I gonna die? Was he a robber? Was he a murderer? But that voice sounds so familiar...

I grab a knife from the counter and ask timidly, "Who are you?"

He moves towards me, and the sensor activates and the light turns on. I drop the knife as I see the familiar face of bus boy.

"Were you going to kill me?" He asks as he points towards the knife, tilting his head, his hands up in the air.

"I-no," I mumble as I wrap my arms around my torso and take a step back, "Why are you here?"

"Shit," He runs a hand through his hair and sighs, "I startled you, didn't I?"

He paces around the room and continues, "I wanted to grab a bottle of water but then I saw you and I didn't knew how to approach you, I'm sorry."

My eyes stare in his brown one's as I say, "You talk a lot, don't you?"

"I-sorry," He looks at the ground, ashamed.