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Mary heard Tommy call for her, she lifted her head from the pillow she had been sleeping on and ran as fast as she could towards the sound of his voice. It leaded her to the kitchen, the young girl opened the door and walked inside the room, the knob still in her hands. The cold metal brushed against her soft skin, sending chills through her body.
"What is this?"
He held flyers in the air, some ripped in pieces and others only wrinkled or folded. There were many different ones, but all of them were thrown into the trashcan, all of them gone out of the household.
"Nothing to worry about," she answered nervously, trying to take the papers out of his cold hands. Tommy pulled them to his chest, his eyes still scanning the words written on them. He looked at the smiling people in uniforms, calling out for British men to join them on their journey, help them win this war.
"Were you hiding this from me?"
"No."
Tommy tilted his head to one side, his right eyebrow raised in the air. He didn't say anything, but Mary knew he didn't believe her and that she couldn't lie to him.
"I didn't want you to see," his girlfriend admitted, her eyes stared at her fidgeting fingers.
"Why?"
"Because you'd want to go."
"I don't want to, I need to."
Mary started shaking with her head, the ponytail in her hair moving with her motions. Locks fell down the front of the hairstyle, the waves framing her beautiful face. She took a glance at the man in front of her, but she couldn't look at his facial expressions, seeing how determined he was. She couldn't accept the fact that they were having this conversation, a discussion she always dreamed about, nightmares that always ghosted in her mind.
"No, please, you don't have to."
"Mary, look at me."
But she kept her eyes on her shoeless feet, her toes moving in the white socks. She was still shaking her head, repeating over and over again that he didn't have to leave, that he didn't have to go. She told him he could stay with her, that she would help him with finding a job, as long as he promised to stay. She needed him to promise, she needed him by her side.
"Look at me," Tommy asked again, pushing her chin up with his thumb. Mary pulled her head away from him, doing her best to fight against the urge to get lost in his beautiful eyes.
"I have to go," he continued.
"Stop saying that."
"I can't stay here, do absolutely nothing. There are many soldiers fighting, I have to join them."
"Yeah and get even worse nightmares. You're not following them into war again, I'm not going to let you," she mocked, her emotions playing with her thoughts.
"What about these men –," Tommy started, but Mary quickly interrupted him.
"What about me?," she cried out, finally taking a glance of his face. His mouth had sunken in a sad frown, his eyes glassy from the tears that had been forming. He didn't like this, they barely had a discussion and he wasn't used to it. The war had broken him, that's true, but seeing how it affected her, tore his heart.
"You can't leave, not again."
A tear rolled over her cheeks, she fastly wiped it away with the back of her small hand.
"Love?"
"You promised me. You remember that, right? The night we rescued all of you. You told me you'd stay with me, we would be together." The young girl didn't raise the volume of her voice, still afraid to scare him of with her anger. He was fragile, she knew that and it affected how she reacted to the situation.
"Of course I remember, but I can't stay here and read about these men dying, while I am doing absolutely nothing."
"You've done your part already and you returned home safely. Me, Peter, my dad, we helped you with that and now what? you're going to run back, all our help for nothing."
"I can't let them die," Tommy stated. He tried to walk closer to his girlfriend standing in the doorway, but she took a step back, tears building on the rim of her hazel brown eyes.
"And I can't let you die, I can't let you watch someone else die. I don't want you to go through that again."
"I'll get through it."
"I won't. Do you even understand how scary this is for me? How terrified I was when I didn't get your letters anymore? I thought you were dead, Tom, I made myself believe that." A quiet sob escaped her chapped lips. He tried to calm her down, but Mary stopped him before he could even rest his arms around her and hug his girlfriend.
She walked out of the kitchen and quickly strapped her heeled boots over her foot, her long jacket and scarf already in her hands. She needed to get out, inhale some fresh air and think about the situation all by herself.
"Mary, what are you doing?," Tommy asked, scared that he made her mad and that she decided to leave. Scared that he might have hurt her feelings.
"I just need to be alone. I'll be back by tomorrow, I promise."
She opened the front door, ready to face the cold wind blowing in her direction.
"I love you, Tom."
"I love you too."
And with that, the soldier allowed her to leave, closing the door behind him while he entered the house again and walked to the bedroom, crashing onto the sheets and into the pillows. He wanted to scream at himself, scream at his determination for not noticing that he might have hurt her. Yes, Tommy wanted to join the war, but he didn't want her to go through all of the emotions again. He cared a lot about Mary, she was the only reason he had to survive. But what the young girl didn't know, was that she was also the reason why he wanted to fight again. He needed the world to be a safe place, a peaceful world with no wars, no bomb threatening to kill all of them. He needed to fight, win the army and kill whoever wants to hurt anyone he cared about.
