Fragile

Part 1 learning

It's quiet, everything is calm yet filled with chaos in these fields. I can fill the pickle of the hey on my butt as I sit in the field. As I watch the hey swing with a gentle breeze, I can't help but relate to this feild of nothing; so calm but filled with chaos.

...

I stare with a blank face at my room, it fills to normal almost like I can be hap..."no stop thinking like that Athena". I fumble out of my twin size rugged down one blanket no pillow bed. The floor is freezing, shiver of sparks run up my legs. I hurry down the narrow hallway of the trailer, I fear what's yet to come...please god please.

My tiny naive little sister looks up at me as I'm trying to catch my breath, she has marble blue eyes with to much liquid. I quickly wipe her tears away, before she starts to speak I ask her "what happen...please tell me you didn't" with a hush tone. I wait what seems to be a life time " I...I am sorry...I..please don't tell mom...". I can see she is about to cry, fear surrounds me like it's trying to suffocate me. "No, no Cloe it's okay calm down I will fix it come here" I look down at her and I finally see....she peed her pants again. "Take them off and meet me in my room",as she starts to take off her wet aroma pants with hello kitty on them. I quickly run back to my room at the end of the hallway, sweep into my bathroom and dare to turn on the faucet just a notch. Tiny little sprinkles of water Clash against the sink... their too loud I think. I grab a dirty white worn out sock and shove it into the drain hole. As the sink slowly but Surely fills up it starts to get quieter and as I am filled with relief, the fear slowly washes over me.
The tension rises as I hear my mothers drunken footsteps. Adrenaline is filling me up way too fast. I quickly run back to my sister grab her and run back to my room and slam the door shut as a lock it I remeber my sister is half naked. I look down at her with a half smile as I guide her to my bathroom. I grab a rage on the floor dip it into the warm water in the sink and wash my sisters bum. As I'm wiping her legs with the cloth she says " what am I going to wear to school now, those were my last pants" with a little wine in her voice. I look at her with disbelief and pity " I can find some skirt for you and maybe we can tie it around your waist with a hair tie to make it smaller for you" I say with tiredness in my voice. Can I just sleep with no worries just sleep peaceful? I almost laugh at my thoughts.

As me and my sister collect our things to go to school I look down at her with my skirt as it tied around her waist about to slip off herlittle bum, I can't help but smile. We climb into my mothers car, it has a stench of cigarettes and something else I don't want to say it out loud though. Cloe climbs in the back seat and wips away chip crumbs off the seat it seems, before sitting down. There's no seatbelt so she takes off her coat and puts it around her waist for substitute, like she always does. I climb into the drivers seat and turn the engine on. Even though I'm only 15 I can pass for 18, like I always do. I don't have a driver's license or a permit but I can drive. As me and my sister drive down the road with beat up small green Toyota, we both know we have fear in our stomachs that we might get caught. I've been driving my sister everywhere and me for 2 years, and I've never gotten caught.....yet.