The Dragonbone Petticoat

Chapter 10

"This is rich fare, indeed." While Venos daintily pinched the menu corner to turn its page, one might wonder how he could evaluate the bill of fare with his sardonic pout turned to Lucina. "They tried too hard. This rabble will never order anything but the plainer entrees, leaving a half-dozen untasted rarities."

"That is precisely why we must order them, Venos. Well, not the orange-infused mussels--the idea is too nauseating for me to appreciate its taste. Is it good? Is it bad? No one shall ever know." She tittered. "Moreover, spare me dracoil belly pie, griffin-liver pate, and whatever is worlds within worlds."

Either by an accident of bad taste, or simply to spite Venos, Lucina had anticipated the very items which Venos singled out as culinary curiosities. Tilting his head in an indifferent nod, he said, "while the rest is dross, we must try the worlds within worlds."

"We are already gods, Venos."

"Having declined the dreams of too many upstart magicians today, I would move from devouring mere worlds to savoring their offspring."

"Very well," she sighed. "Not more than a taste."

"Why should you? With so much to sample, what deserves to be eaten in its entirety?"

Having placed their order, they reposed like statues, neither akcnowledging nor speaking. Having contemplated curiosities, displays, and demonstrations all day, he now winnowed them away one by one, until he was left with the unforgettable commodities. As invention and inspiration were a common grace in Ardem, what distinguished the bright stars from the mob of geniuses were not their contraptions or enchantments, but their faces and personalities. Having burned away the chaff, the only bright spot of the day was the red-headed Vanoori bumpkin who had so excellently singed Lucina's ego. When their samplers and entrees were served, this rustic's wide-eyed expression remained superimposed on every delicacy, so that the worlds within worlds first had to be peeled from her freckled image.

Venos supposed he must revise his top twenty of the Grand Exhibition to accomodate this clever appetizer, if only somewhere at the bottom, for it tended toward the inspid, its chef having declined to be as adventurous with the spice as the substance. And this was a missed opportunity, for having already injected an omelet into an apple, all of which had roasted chestnuts at its core, and a buttery crust for its outer shell, it seemed to simply be an experiment in textures, not a creation of a new taste. While he admired it involuntarily, he savored it just as reluctantly and could not bring himself to appreciate it.

"Well," said Lucina. "One bite, and I'm no longer hungry."

"You always find something nice to say." Venos rested the rest of the bizarre dumpling on his plate. "Was it baked on a dare?"

"Baked? This is some new method of cooking, for the egg is more cooked than the apple, but not as much as the crust. This isn't food, Venos. It's just another demo."

She was right, of course. This was new food not only in its conception, but in its preparation. Venos was also thinking along those lines moments ago, but had said baked because he lacked the energy to coin a new word, and now latched onto the opportunity to take another bite, which he could excuse as exploratory research. He didn't know how the old bat could be indefatigably bitchy after walking around the Grand Exhibition all day. While he was famished, weary, and so cranky that his polished sycophantic exterior was beginning to crack, he only said, somewhat more hoarsely than usual, "you're right, Lucinia. How clever. "

"Clever? You mean showing off. Is this vendor slated for any demonstrations? While I would never recommend this trash, I'm curious to know how it was wrought."

Venos raised an eyebrow. Lucina, as usual, sized things up quicker and more thoroughly, which is why he was the more gracious interviewer, having genuine questions he aired to satisfy his curiosity. As Lucina already knew everything on first sight, on first hearing, on first taste, or from a single touch, she often dismissed applicants out of hand, and rarely deigned to waste time on an explanation. From Lucina's point of view, having her ear was a privilege, and currently one reserved for Venos.