Falling For The Bad Boy (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Twenty-First

Kyungsoo

I think preparing for his funeral was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It was harder than any school work I've ever done, harder than standing up to my parents. I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he was gone. The person I had grown to love so much was gone, just like that it seemed.

Much to my surprise, a lot of people showed up for his funeral. They were mostly kids from school and some others I didn't recognize. I wondered if they felt bad about the things they said about him while he was alive or if they just showed up so they wouldn't look bad. I didn't see his parents there.

"Thank you to everyone who came on this tragic day," the funeral director said, talking over the sounds of some cries and whimpers. "Today, we are here to honor the young life of Kim Jongin. To those who knew him, he was an extraordinary person with an extraordinarily big heart. And though his life was taken from him too soon, the love he had for the people he cared about will never disappear. If anyone would like to come up and say a few additional words about Jongin, you are welcome." 

He stepped away from the front of the room after that. No one got up for a minute or so, but Chanyeol sighed deeply from behind me and went up there eventually. He was silent for a while as he stared at the piece of paper he had taken from his pocket.

"I stayed up all night last night writing this," he began. "But I can't read it. I can't read it because Kai deserves so much more than the words that can fit on this small piece of paper. No one else saw it, but he lived for everyone he loved and cared about. He didn't care what happened to him as long as the people he loved were okay. I just hope he knows that there were people who cared if he was okay, too." 

I moved my eyes to the photo of him next to Chanyeol. It was his school picture and he wasn't exactly smiling, but I thought he still looked as handsome as ever. 

Chanyeol stood up there for a little bit longer but didn't say anything else. After a while, he just went back to his seat next to Baekhyun. Baekhyun smiled at him and took hold of his hand. I turned to Taeyoung.

"Do you want to go up?" I asked her, causing her to glance up at me. She shook her head. I heard from Sehun that she hadn't cried since she heard the news, at least not so anyone could see. Nodding a little, I sighed and stood up, slowly making the short journey up there. I didn't look at the people in front of me. Instead, I just looked at him.

"I don't know if you can hear me from wherever you are, but I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that you are loved so much more than you thought you were," I said, speaking right to him. There was a long pause as I just gazed at his photo, feeling tears stream into my eyes. "What am I going to do without you?" My voice cracked as I spoke and some strat tears rolled down my cheeks. Swiftly, I wiped my eyes and went to sit back down.

Then, we gathered outside to watch him be buried. I remember the sun was shining brightly overhead and no clouds were in sight in the clear, blue sky. Before his coffin was put in the ground, Taeyoung went up to it and set her story book on top of it. 

"So, you have something to read every night," she said softly, as if her words were only meant for him. I smiled and then she came back to stand in front of me, prompting me to wrap an arm around her. I watched as he was submerged into the ground, where he'd finally be able to get some rest.

There was a meal back inside the funeral home and everyone offered their condolences on their way out. By the time the other guests had left, the only people left with us were Sehun,  Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Xiumin, and Chen.

"You call me if you need anything," Baekhyun said as he hugged me tightly. I nodded my head, saying I would. 

"You sure you'll be able to handle this one?" Sehun asked with a faint smile, ruffling the hair on top of Taeyoung's head. I smiled and looked down at her as she looked up at me. 

"Yeah," I said, running a few of my fingers through her hair. "I think we'll be okay." She smiled snuggling closer to me. "But I'll call you if I need a babysitter," I added as I looked back at him.

"That's what I'm here for." He chuckled.

After saying goodbye to them, I took Taeyoung back to her house to pack a few of her things. It was weird being in there without him. I almost expected him to appear at the front door when we got there, but Taeyoung opened it by herself. I helped her to grab some clothes and anything else she needed, telling her we'd come back for the rest another day. Then, we took a taxi back to my house. My parents looked at us as soon as the door opened. I just looked back at them as she clung closely to my side quietly.

"She has nowhere else to go," was the only thing I said. I wasn't going to explain it to them and I certainly wasn't going to ask for their approval. 

I saw a small sigh leave both of their lips. I took that opportunity to leave and bring her upstairs to my bedroom, knowing tonight wasn't the night to make her sleep alone. I let her get cleaned up first, helping her brush and pull her hair back after she was finished in the shower. I decided to skip the shower since I had gotten one earlier in the day. As I tucked her into my bed, she was still wearing that same sad, blank expression on her face.

"Do you think he knew how much we loved him?" she asked me. I exhaled heavily, joining her by sitting on the bed. 

"I hope so," I said, smiling faintly. "What I know for sure is that he loved you more than anyone else in the world and even though he's not here physically anymore, you'll always be able to carry his love with you wherever you go."

"Do you think he'll be somewhere watching us and making sure we're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sure he will be. I think he'll always be with us no matter what, just like he always has been." That made a genuine smile appear on her face.

"Okay, you get some rest and I will see you in the morning," I said, pulling the covers over her more. She just nodded as she let out a yawn, giving me a chance to go turn the lights off. I kissed her forehead softly before getting into bed next to her.

As I laid there, all of our memories came flooding back. The first time we talked, our first almost kiss, our first kiss, the first time he said he loved me. They all came back. But instead of being sad, I was happy as I replayed them in my head. Because while they did make me miss him even more than I already did, they all connected to confirm one thing: I had fallen for the bad boy.

The End

A/N

Okay imma say it, there were many cringey parts in this story, but that ending still gets me. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed re-reading this or reading it for the first time! This story really does have a special place in my heart and I appreciate all of the support you guys have showed it and still show it <3

Not sure what fic I'll edit next, but we'll see :) In the meantime, thanks for reading! Much love xoxoxo