from me, to you

𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎

Dear inmate 9146087790

     I don't know you, you don't know me. We know nothing of each other, and we will most likely never meet but for an A grade in this class and for the need of a perfect GPA, I'm writing to you from my high school and to your jail.

     If you don't respond, that's on you. Just know that it would very much break my heart to know we could have been friends but we are not. I consider myself a pretty cool person (even though my entire school swears I am a either a loser, a nerd, or retarded where as in my defense I am not).

     Anyways, I feel as though this assignment in itself is very much 2004ish, and speaking in form of a millennial, I refuse to tolerate such y2k-ness. Also, I'm too much of a fucking genius to sit here and tolerate a pen pal assignment.

     But as I said, you may be cool, and I'm already a loser enough so I refuse to let the opportunity of having an actual friend slip through my hands.

     I'm not going to send another letter until I get a response, so if you'd like to hear more outlandish comments right at your disposal, I sincerely recommend you answer. It'd be a shame if you didn't.

Yours truly,
Halley